Posted: Nov 23, 07 10:44am

I married young and stayed married for the kids sake. Five years ago, "mid-life crisis" hit and I went back to school, separated, took a professional job and meet a man that took my breath away. He was a local who I apparently I went to school with but would have never given a second look. He was very confident,social and funny. Always appeared to have many friendships with both women and men. Not a penny to his name but seemed happy and liked to party. Quite the oppisite of myself.

He would say he was attracted to me because I was stable, smart, respected and self sufficient. Which I was.

Long story short........we have destroyed each other. He no longer works, I lost my professional job and work an office job for less pay than 5 years ago. We are now 40 and each back at our parents house. The difference between us is that I accept responsibility for my actions, where my life is now and my wrongs in the relationship. He blames me for everything! We can not disagree without something from 5 years ago being brought up of course being my fault and not his. I don't like confrontations but I try to keep the argument or diagreement that turns into an argument short by keeping quiet or agreeing. There is no point because he will always "WIN". He apologizes, I accept and we are fine for awhile. Time and time over again along comes someone, usually a women or a spirtual advisor to advise him about our relationship. (I respect his spirtual beliefs although they are VERY different than mine.) They only hear one side and he gives me the cold shoulder, see me because I stole 5 years of his life. It breaks my heart because when these persons are to busy for him or get tired of his story again they won't be around. But guess who will! Stupid me.

I don't know how to not be me and help him when no one else will. I totally know I am not perfect and never will be but I am also not a bad person, why can't this man admit he is not perfect?!?!?

Here I go again........looking for reassurance??