Have you told him this? If not, do it. If you have and he's done nothing different, let him know what the consequences are. Otherwise, why should he change what's working for him? People need major motivation to make changes. If he thinks he'll lose you, that might do it. If not, then you have some decisions to make.

I agree with Isadora. I also think you and your guy might benefit from reading a book I wrote, Great Sex: A Man's Guide to the Secrets of Total Body Sensuality. It's available online. Try Amazon.com.

Communication is everything.

It's simple, but it says it.

Some men are simply submissive... passive. They want a woman to dominate, take the lead, order them to do this or that. It's their nature. I doubt that talking to him that he might lose you would alter his basic personality. It would be inconvenient for a while, but he'd eventually find another dominant woman and he could do what he likes to do... lie back and let her take over.

I'm a strong woman and sometimes I attract men like this. They're not at all what I want, but they do pop up.

I believe that your problem goes far beyond sex. I think there is a message in his behavior and he owes you the courtesy and decency to tell you what it is. But, you have to want to know to get the answer.

What you want doesn't seem to matter to him. Was it always like this or has he changed? Is there some change in your lives that preceded his change?

What have you done to try to change the situation? You complain about what he doesn't do but you make no mention of what you have tried to do to solve the problem. From your comments, I don't know if he is telling you he doesn't love you or if he is just so ignorant about the basics of sex that all he knows how to do is pump and slump.