Why do you have them? Are you insecure about your relationship?

Depends on the situation. What's yours?

I think you might have posted this question twice. I'm not sure where you will look for responses, so here is mine re-posted.

don't know if we can overcome them, but we must remember that they are about us and not about our partner. If your partner is doing something not in line with your agreements, then there is a serious issue in the relationship. If you are feeling jealous "for no reason," then the first step is to remember that this is about your feelings and not his/her behavior. Try talking to your partner, but not in a blaming way. Own your feelings and ask for some help.

I am posting a second response as I've just had an interesting incident myself. I had occasion to meet a woman friend of my husband's this past weekend. There is nothing in their relationship that is in violation of our agreements, but I still felt a huge surge of jealousy when I met her. (The fact that she is really attractive didn't help one single bit.)

Decided to take my own advice - own my feelings, remember that this is about me and not about her or him, and I did eventually tell my husband how I was feeling. He knew something was wrong and I didn't want him to think the wrong thing.

So sometimes things work out - he was very supportive and did a few things that really helped (like was extremely attentive - especially when she was around.) It didn't make it all go away, but it sure helped. I'm convinced that had I blamed him in any way for my feelings, he would not have been so agreeable.

So again, I'm not sure how we overcome our feelings of jealousy - I've still got some of mine - but I do know step one is to own the feelings as our own and not as our spouse's "fault."

Jealousy is a poisonous emotion. Very hard to deal with. I like Talia's approach. It doesn't make jealous feelings magically disappear. But it's a step in the right direction.

To laugh often and much;

to win the respect of intelligent people

and the affection of children;

to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;to appreciate beauty,

to find the best in others;to leave the world a bit better,whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.This is to have succeeded.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson