Did you ever think of the possibility that he is so full of shit that when he tilts his head to one side, his eyeballs turn brown? Many men say what they think you want to hear to get into your pants but that is all they are interested in. He fed you a line of crap and you believed it. That part is your problem. If you want to live the life as it is portrayed in a soap opera, you get what they get, serial heartbreaks. Sometimes, I do wonder how people can be so naive as to believe something that all your friends would tell you is a total crock.

It sounds like you found one of those guys that will do the least possible to get the most possible and to him, the word love begins with the letter F.

You already say that both of you are in another relationship. In this world, the only fairytales are for children under 5. After that, you need a bullshit meter to check almost everything another person says ... especially if the relationship is based on a lie by both of you.

I don't believe I said I ever believed it...hence the confusion. I appreciate the slap in the face, it was what I expected. If every moment we did spend together was to "F" then I see where you are coming from. But, we can't exactly "F" at work, which is the only place we talk anymore..so is he trying to get down my pants still...??If he doesn't want to get together outside of work and we cant "f" at work...is it BS??

more confused now..But I do see were you are coming from and have already been there and done that discussion with him..I have raised the BS flag more than once... not that naive...

I don't see things the way Milt T does,but I rarely do.

You may be confused because he's confused, and feels ambivalent. Haven't you wanted something that you decided wasn't good for you? "I want that dessert but I'm dieting." That's what it sounds like to me. He's attracted and he's involved elsewhere and you have to work together.

What you decide to do about it is your call - end it, try to seduce him away from his other relationship, convert to business buddies or friends. Think it through carefully. Sounds like there's a lot at stake.

I guess what I'm confused about is; how you can say you love someone but not want to talk or be with them because you'll just want more...?? But, you don't want the relationship to end....is this possible....??

Of course this is possible FOR HIM if you go along with it. But you will only get what he is offering here.

Sounds to me like you're both ambivalent about this affair. I'd be skeptical of his professed "love" for you. He knows that's what you want to hear. He may well have strong feelings for you. But there's also the excitement--and risks--of the forbidden fruit here, and that can be powerfully erotic to some people.

I think you have to decide what you want. Do you want to leave your guy and go for your coworker? Do you want to continue the affair in secret? Or do you want to end it? Sounds to me it's time the two of you discussed these questions and came to a mutual decision.

Hi, I agee with AnitaP. The guy is making what is refered to as crazymaking statments. This is also a sign of emotional abuse. He is saying things that dont make sense that leaves you feeling crazy. To say that your too young to understand love (at 37?) is demeaning and rude. You are also in another relationship that your obviously not satisfied with! Its time to take a look at yourself? What do you want in your relationships? Where is your point of personal power? How can you reclaim it? Sounds hard that you have to work with the guy but it sounds like your both playing games. I dont think its worth sacrificing your self esteem and personal power anymore. Find out what you need to do and then stick to it. If the guy is an emotional abuser, if he percieves weakness in you he'll resort to more crazymaking. My advice, BE STRONG!

So, do you like this guy? Do you enjoy his company? Would you post bail for him? If he threw up all over you would you wash him off and put him to bed?

Ball's in your court. If you wanna be with the guy let him know. Those that don't ask, don't get.