Continue to respect her wishes.

Move on, and meet other people.

I can relate on what your girl friend is going through, I went through the same situation, but a little different. i had lost my job while getting a divorce also and in a dilemma with my self, the pain of getting a divorce, She probably is independent and needs to take care of herself and focus the necessity's in her life right now, instead of a relationship, Just give her and yourself a little time and space, until she's on her feet.

Time will heal all wounds

This has nothing to do with you at this point...move on. While it may be hard to let go of "a woman you love", you're loving a woman in some kind of dysfunctional fugue. You don't need to the aggravation.

There is a simple answer. She is who she is and isn't going to change. Why she is that way, I could only guess.

The issue for you is: How many breakups do you need before you come to the realization that your relationship with her is already established and will probably not change? It is makeup to breakup to makeup to breakup. If you can stand to live your life on the razor's edge, go for it but it will not get better.

Though I do not know her, here is my guess: She was an abused child. She lives with ambivalence about the person closest to her and cannot tolerate a healthy relationship and can only really attach to a sick man - her alcoholic husband who she stayed with for 5 years AFTER she left him. You offer her peace and security and put up even with her mother living in and you are the one she keeps ditching.

Here is a line from a story. See if it fits your life ... "I love you so much. That's why I can't see you any more." The line is said by a woman who has suffered every indignity possible and she finally meets a good man who cherishes her. He is the one she speaks this line to. This is not fiction. This comes from real life. As a therapist, I heard it spoken.

You both moved to a different state. You moved in together. You both lost jobs. And she's dealing with the intricacies of divorce. Any of the above generate lots of stress. Hell, they set off emotional fireworks. No wonder she's been flaky. And no wonder you're feeling discombobulated.

My question for you: Do you want to be with her? If so, then hang in there as her friend and possibly occasional lover. But please don't invest a great deal of emotion in this relationship. She's dealing with tons of stuff and compared with all that, it seems that building a life with you has slipped to the back burner, if not off the stove.

You might also consider seeing some other people, and telling her you plan to...or not. It's your call.

She's asked you to move on and has shut the door. Respect that.

She has your email if she ever wants to rekindle when she has straightened out her life.

If at that point you have moved on, her loss.

Life is too short to waste on something that may never be.