I like Isadora's suggestion of a clearer front page welcome, with perhaps some links for more age appropriate sites. If, after reading that, they still want to stay, more power to them. I don't find them any more annoying than some of the posters who are in the target age range.

I am sorry but I do not agree with Carol on this issue. I think that when some of the young people come here it is because they need someone "in loco parentis" to discuss an intimate issue that has their life at a crisis point. Sometimes the true meaning of a group emerges out of need rather than planning. I never planned to own a cat either, but a neighborhood stray adopted me and who was I to vacate my house just because the cat took over?

Not everyone needs to choose to answer these questions. But to send someone away because he or she is "young" defeats something within us that may need to be used. How often in our lives have we had such deep and difficult issues brought to us by our own kids? I cannot see that this group needs to have a selfish - "all for me and nothing for you" - approach to what we are here for. It will not take away from anyone's ability to get whatever needs you planned to meet - met.

Several of us have professional skill working with young people and perhaps providing this very special service does more for our day than listening to a bunch of people our own age griping about issues like their bad date last night or asking what does it mean when their husband of 25 years stops having sex with them. Which issue is more likely to affect the next 50 years?

If I am given a choice of a mature 17 year old, and by mature, I mean having the sense to ask what the fifty year old refused to ask at seventeen or she wouldn't be in her dilemma today, I would choose to answer the young person every time.

Here at TBD, we have groups that the kids do not seem to attend. I am in one that concerns itself with paradigmatic shifts. I do not see a seventeen year old going there. But to ask a heartfelt question ... I'm all for keeping the door open and the night light on for real issues regardless of age. Heck, I didn't spend 38 years being a parent and 14 being a grandparent to slam the door on a kid who is hurting. I also never slammed it on a fifty year old who acts like he or she is 13 with some of the most vile questions I have ever encountered like the one who asked the group where he should go to cheat on his wife. You don't need to ask where I wanted to tell him to go, but even then, I gave him a funny yet true answer.

Milt T, I never suggested "sending [anyone] away."

I merely suggested that we make it clear for whom the site is designed, and let the young folks make up their own minds about whether they still want to post here.

I really do agree with CarolT not to restrict membership, but to make it more clear where our interests lie,right at the front door. I think some people are confused and wandered into the wrong party by mistake.You'd want to help them out.

I like the idea of helping a teen. Some times teens need a neutral thrid party to say something the exact same way that mom and dad said. However, because the neutral third party said it, now the light bulb goes on and they walk in greater wisdom. This is the nature of teens.

I vote for compassion and love towards the young people. They ask the tough questions. At least they are trying to get some positive direction in there life.

I'm with you Milt, well said.

I vote for having teens and young adults around. Without a "Keep Out Sign" or warning that we are boring old people on TBD and listing sites for young people.

The reality is that the younger people who wander through this site will eventually be bored shitless with the bulk of the stuff we post about. ;-)>

The ones who have posted seem to want/need our experienced adult point of view and want our advice, we can offer that when it's a serious request.

Betty,

All the posts on this have merit. Logistically, I don't see a 'lock n key' for your team. I agree that there are some younger adults who need some form of outlet, and one or two of them seem savvy beyond their confessed age. My only real concern is TBD becoming another(pardon)'dumping' ground for the less respectful.