Hi Azure-CAlm,

Getting calls to say something has happened to our loved ones are heart wrenching. My heart goes out to you.

I haven't 'overcome' my fears when the phone rings. I've let time - patience & being gentle with myself - trusting that even though I was shaken to the core at the time it happened, I processed it and came through it stronger.

I received a call at 7:00AM one morning - anytime for years whenever the phone rang at that time - I'd feel like I was jumping out of my skin. Today - if it rings then I just tell myself - oh another early riser & answer it.

I too dreaded the calls from my mother - what pot shot was she going to take now? - what 'favor' will she ask of me today? etc. Mom died 5 years ago & for the first 3 years afterward, around about the time she had usually called - I would feel that dread in the pit of my stomach. I had to constantly remind myself that she was gone.

Like so many things in life, phone calls can be a wonderful connection with others - or it can be a negative experience. I don't 'force' myself to answer it - for whatever reason - it could simply be I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone, which is nothing personal. I have an answering machine & tell myself if it's important enough, they'll either leave a message or they'll call back - either way, it's my decision & choice whether to answer or not. My hubby has helped me a great deal with this - he really dislikes the phone & rarely answers it.

For me, a lot of it depends on what I happen to be feeling in the moment. I've even not answered when my kids have called & that's ok.

It is only another tool - one you can choose to use or not. As we know, until we process & release the pain we felt at the time these things happened - the fear - anger - this trigger 'phone calls' will continue to push those buttons of our pain.

With practice, if it's important for you to use the phone, you'll find a way so that's it doesn't send you jumping out of your skin when it rings.

Not sure if this would help - but is it possible to change the actual tone of the rings - meaning that if you hear a different sound, maybe that might help ease it some?

I have grown to appreciate the phone more now than ever - I see it as a valuable tool for connection.

Take care, Deb

i think part of the problem with the phone, for me, is a control issue. when i am home, i am in my sacred space, my sanctuary. the phone always rattles me. it is a disturbance, unwelcome, an interruption.

caller ID helps a lot. i screen all my calls. it gives control back to me. sometimes i answer and sometimes i let the voice mail get it.

yes! voice mail! i used to have an answering machine and had to endure listening to the person leaving a message (thus adding a cup of guilt to the complicated emotional stew brewing inside me.) but with voice mail, it is all just a further step away. i can choose when to respond.

not everyone leaves a message. usually the numbers i do not recognize. those are the ones i am glad i did not answer.

some calls tho, i answer right away. my daughter, primarily. all the rest, depends on who it is and how i am feeling at that moment.

needless to say, i do not have a cell phone.

The phone can be a disturbing annoyance to me. Between my cell, house and business line, sometimes I get all 3 ringing when I don't pick up one line. Annoys the hell out of me. One Saturday morning @ 8am, a business I refer clients to had an early appt with my client. Instead of checking their messages to find out she had to reschedule, I was called on all 3 lines to find out how to reach the client. If they checked their messages instead of freaking me out (I was sick in bed)! Needless to say I was pissed.

My biz line usually gets telemarketers or wrong numbers. I am listed on the internet as the board of health. Imagine that!

As far as trying to reach someone. I was involved with a man who was serverely depressed. There have been many times when his family couldn't reach him & they would panic. One night I couldn't get a hold of him & we had plans. I went in complete panic mode and was convinced he was trying to kill himself. There were a few episodes like this with him. It's hard for me not to overreact like that if I can't reach my daughter. It's like I have been programmed to panic that something is wrong when I don't know where they are. I'm getting better.

My preference is email. Thank goodness for voicemail & caller ID.

Spuff,

I hear you about when you can't get in touch - hubby always reminds me 'no news is good news'. I can't think of a time when he's been wrong - not that I'll tell him that.

Take care, Deb

Meant to post before to say thank you for the responses... I was bad.

I always thought my phobia was too "out there" to even discuss, but maybe that was my first step.

Thanks, all.

Hi everyone,

I just re-read the posts. I too have voice mail and use it quite often - best invention, and caller ID.

Azure, rest assured, for most of us I think, no phobia is "out there". I'm grateful you posted yours, I got to take a look of how I relate or not to the phone.

Spuff you reminded me of a time few years back, that is funny - with two phones - I'm talking to my hubby on the cell phone and his sister on his Mom's phone (she had the really old rotary - dial - & certainly not cordless) - we're making arrangements for his sister to fly from Ireland because their Mother is in the hospital. Neither one are very good with details...so there I am caught between them...and to make matters worse, I really have to go to the bathroom, I'm in stitches laughing at these two...talk about being caught between a rock & a hard place. I'm still amazed I didn't soil my unmentionables.

I used to allow the phone to 'control' my life. I couldn't not answer it - thanks to my parents - Dad runs his business from the house, using the house phone, so each call could represent new business. I really have changed because that would just not happen for me today. Now, it's like another tool - a mood thing - one I can use...or not.

Life sure twists & turns. When my daughter was at home...it was always a fight for the phone, she was on it so much. Today, I'll leave a message & it could be a couple of days before she calls me back. It's taken me a long time to realize...she's more like me - it's a tool.

Sorry, rambled enough, wishing everyone a day of laughter, love & light. Deb

It's me again...thank goodness I can ramble here without feeling like I'm intruding while you're in the shower...hehe.

I just opened my email & wanted to share this here:

Rise on wings of love and light

Let your heart feel, let your consciousness expand, be aware of

the wonderful transformation now taking place. Never strain to

understand the things of the Spirit.

By becoming still you will see the reflection and you will understand.

Live, move and understand in the spirit of truth.

Feel the freedom of Spirit and rise on wings of love and light with a heart full of praise and thanksgiving, feeling My peace and love within you. The way is open - walk in it.

Take care, Deb