Serenity prayer is something that gets me through many diffcult situations. Last summer I ended a 1.5 year relationship with a severely depressed man with a personality disorder. As much as I knew it was for the best, it is so difficult to end something with someone that you care for. I would scream the serenity in my prayer everytime I thought of him. I would drive around saying it outloud.

It worked like a charm. It deprogrammed my brain. I would also focus on all the positive compliments after the breakup.

I still say the prayer when someone or something it out of my control.

Speaking of control...my new mantra...given to me by a dear friend is this....ALLOW NOT HOW. Sometimes we need to let go. The only real power we have is over how we handle ourselves.

spuff, that is great. letting go. it really is the key. sometimes it is so hard, and takes real effort and work. i find slow deep breathing helps too.

it's like, trust is the opposite of worry. trust is part of how you let go. trust that it will be okay, regardless of what happens.

it's about letting go of control. that need to be in control. which for me is a need to fix things.

I heard once that worry is like rocking in a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but you never go anywhere.

The serenity prayer has been oh so helpful to me, especially the wisdom to know the difference. I think I'm getting better in that area.

When I would get all wrapped up in worry I would travel to the worse case scenarios. Like I lose my job, I live under a bridge, wait in line every day for my methadone pill with all the other homeless people, while my son is cracked out of his mind somewhere in a hole off East Colfax street. My daughter is scraping by trying to raise her 7 kids all with different fathers currently living in a shelter for battered woman. That is if I even know where my kids are.

Then I come too and realize I've got it pretty good. I really don't have so much to worry about.

Letting go is huge when seeking serenity. The fear of falling can be incapacitating. But so can panic attacks, ulcers, migraines, and despair.

I've found just in this short time on TBD that I am not alone in the issues of life. Just knowing this gives me a wee bit more serenity. We are all doing life the best we can.

So hugs to you RoseBear. It's to you I owe my thanks that I stayed here.

L

L--thank YOU.

worst case scenarios. i know those well. it seems like an exercise in mental preparedness, if seen as a positive thing, but i think it is more a device for self torture!

another thing that helps me is to ground myself firmly in the present moment. such as, i am eating my breakfast. and i pay attention to eating my breakfast and to nothing else. i become conscious of my breathing. and, i then feel the tension in my tummy relax.

i try to remember to respond to life in tiny increments. eat now. put dish away. present moment, present moment, carrying me along like a gentle river.

looking at the big picture is just too scary. staying rooted in the small picture of Right Now is how life feels manageable again.

going back to the river. gentle river. but there are falls up ahead. if i focus on the falls and what could happen if i am carried away by them, i freeze in worry and panic. if i instead attend to where i am right now, and relax into that present moment, solutions, and not worries!, occur to me.

Rose, spuff, and others, sending my gratitude for posting this important topic.

Spuff, I agree that the Serenity Prayer, above, really can help us keep a perspective on what's significant, and what we need to just say goobye to.

I come fom a long line of worriers, and constantly work to break that cycle, on a daily basis. Rose, being in the present moment is also huge; it eliminates bringing all of our past baggage, and helps to center us on what's really happening NOW,instead.

Here are some more helpful quotes on this subject:

"Yesterday is history,

Tomorrow is a mystery,

Today is the gift,

Because it is THE PRESENT."

"Never borrow from the future.

If you live in dread of what may happen,

And it doesn't happen,

You have worried in vain.

Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice."

Thank you,everyone.

thanks, souther, for that inspirational reminder to stay in the present. i like how you explained it--how when we are in the moment, we have shed our baggage.

now i know why it feels so good and so light!

it reminds me of this fridge magnet i saw once that said Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly.......

I am a world class worrier.  I worry about everything, but I have gotten a little bit better.  I love the serenity prayer but I guess I have never really taken it to heart. Thank you so much for pointing that out to me.

On a slightly humorous note: I hear this one time and it really fits me. "I know worrying works because 99% of the things I worry about never happen."