A mountain gorilla, who is also a famous author--winner of the Nobel Prize!-- has invited you to a formal tea. He looks very elegant in his linen suit and silk shirt. His conversation is oh so witty, erudite, and urbane. He is so charmingly dignified and polite!

But, he is also somewhat clumsy. He gets his fingers in your tea. There are no spoons for eating your banana pudding. And, there are no napkins!

What do you do? What do you say?

Ha, ha. I had those books growing up! The other person might say, "I'm going for a napkin. May I get you anything while I'm up?"

However, if it were me, I'd say, "Here, Ken Writez, have another pudding shot!"

As in all such situations, you follow his lead, of course, which I imagine would entail alternating slugs of tea with licks of banana pudding. Napkin? We don't need no stinkin' napkin!

I've stuck this comment in the wrong place twice, you'll just have to figure out where it goes yourself.

Read fabulous's comment before my next one.

You are walking along the sidewalk and a huge gust of wind blows your skirt up over your head just as you realize that you had borrowed a pair of your best friend's skimpy and rather naughty knickers to wear for the day. The skirt drops back down below eye level allowing you to observe the entire order of the Sisters of St. Cecilia standing there staring in shock at the sight they have just witnessed.

What do you say/do Dear?

the polite response would be, "Good morning, sisters. May the peace of Our Lord be with you."

(snarky me would say: what's the matter girls? never seen anything like that before?)

Rose,

I think Pru nailed it with the shots!

Pru,

I would have smiled and said" the Good Lord moves in mysterious ways, good day ladies"

Your in an interview and suddenly the there is an ill wind due to the chili you ate the night before, and there are no windows in the room. What would you do dears/ what would you say?