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Living with Being Bi-polar

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Group admin:: Peggyann
Created:: April 30, 2008
: 29 Members

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mental health

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Bi-polar

Posted: May 10, 08 9:12am

I am 42 years old, and I have had quite a few years with this disease. Anybody out there with bipolar will tell you about the ups and downs! The ups is such a great high, you feel on top of the world! The down side, you are so depressed that suicide feels like the only way out of the mess! I have given up on so much that I have become numb! My Dr. asked me about 8 months ago if I would like to participate on a trial that had been new in the Allentown and surrounding areas! I said yes, and they implanted a VNS system into my chest. The easiest way to explain what it is, and what it does is to look up something on the net. The pacemaker (VNS) goes to the left side of your chest wall just under the first few layers of the skin! The lead wites are threaded through the upper parts of the body, going to the Vegas nerve at the base of the brain. It affects my speech a little bit when it cycles, then it stops! Like I said it's been a ride. I am glad I had the vns system for the past 8 months---maybe longer---but everyone notices the difference in me! I can honestly say I am feeling much better with the depression, and I have not been manic for the past 2 years. One more thing about the VNS- they can turn the unit up down or sideways to give you more or less help with the depression! Check into the VNS with your Dr. and see what he thinks! Good luck!! Sorry this is a little lengthy

sfco@ptd.net

Tags:

Depression, Mental Health

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20 Comments // 6 Members

Frederick L Glazier III

Posted: Jun 5, 08 6:50pm

no implants for me, hats off for the courage and glad it's workin', wish i could say the same for my meds. it's one hell of a condition we have.

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sfco

Posted: Jun 10, 08 7:51am

Hey Frederick, yes, this disease is one of the hardest one to manage with the medications! Once you start feeling fine, they switch something on you. I only got the implant because of suicide attempts, and there was nothing else! I have had over 20 (shock) therapy's that helped too! The other problem is from the shock, you loose your short term memory! When you say hard to deal with---I know exactly where your coming from! Take care sfco@ptd.net Sharon

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Jay Chase

Posted: Jul 8, 08 10:31am

I have lived with this condition for 18 years. I was on lithium but became allergic. Now am on Depakote . Very expensive!! Can't wait for generic to come out later this year. God's blessings to all of us with this!!

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sfco

Posted: Jul 8, 08 4:13pm

Thank you Jay, I really appreciate it!

sfco@ptd.net Sharon

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beauxPatrick

Posted: Jul 10, 08 4:30pm

I am Bipolar 1 with psychosis... I was diagnosed at 13, but can remember episodes even before that. I stopped my medication when I was about 17 and it was because I was feeling well and I thought I had grown out of it. Little did I know that there is no such thing.

I lived until I was in my midd 40's without medication or further DX, but plenty of episodes. My life has been an emotional roller coaster ever since. Both with manic and depressive episodes... I think I like the hypomanic times the best, because they are"just right". Trouble is they can not be controls and it isn't lomg before the "just right" becomes "all wrong" and my life goes spinning out of control.

Thankfully there are medications to help but it is so difficult to find the right mixture and balance to stay stable, if there is such a thing,

I can only speak for myself, but I have had some really severe manic episodes that not only endangered the lives of others, but mine and my kids and family as well. I am writing a book about them and may share a few chapters online for feedback.

I have used drugs and introduced them to them... I have gotten drunk and treated my kids and wife as trash... I have gone so manic that I have come so close to killing myself just to stop the chatter and pain inside my head.

I have embarrassed my family to the point I thought I would never be forgiven by them.

But here I am at 56 and I have a very loving and helpful relationship with my best friend. I don't think of divorce anymore, but I still ideate about suicide now and then, I am not sure I will ever get rid of that feeling... I have it too bad!!!

But, I am still here and I still love her and my kids and my grand kids and my parents who are still living, Somehow that helps me hold on. I couldn't ask for a better wife as far a understanding and support goes... she is always there for me and wants to know how I am doing,

She and I have cried may tears together and will probably cry many more before this life is over.

I recommend reading a book called MANIC, it is one ot the best bipolar books I've ever read. It was on the New York Best seller list for a long time.

More later...

beaux

I am Bipolar 1 with psychosis... I was diagnosed at 13, but can remember episodes even before that. I stopped my medication when I was about 17 and it was because I was feeling well and I thought I had grown out of it. Little did I know that there is no such thing. I lived until I was in my midd 40's without medication or further DX, but plenty of episodes. My life has been an emotional roller coaster ever since. Both with manic and depressive episodes... I think I like the hypomanic times the best, because they are"just right". Trouble is they can not be controls and it isn't lomg before the "just right" becomes "all wrong" and my life goes spinning out of control. Thankfully there are medications to help but it is so difficult to find the right mixture and balance to stay stable, if there is such a thing, I can only speak for myself, but I have had some really severe manic episodes that not only endangered the lives of others, but mine and my kids and family as well. I am writing a book about them and may share a few chapters online for feedback. I have used drugs and introduced them to them... I have gotten drunk and treated my kids and wife as trash... I have gone so manic that I have come so close to killing myself just to stop the chatter and pain inside my head. I have embarrassed my family to the point I thought I would never be forgiven by them. But here I am at 56 and I have a very loving and helpful relationship with my best friend. I don't think of divorce anymore, but I still ideate about suicide now and then, I am not sure I will ever get rid of that feeling... I have it too bad!!! But, I am still here and I still love her and my kids and my grand kids and my parents who are still living, Somehow that helps me hold on. I couldn't ask for a better wife as far a understanding and support goes... she is always there for me and wants to know how I am doing, She and I have cried may tears together and will probably cry many more before this life is over. I recommend reading a book called MANIC, it is one ot the best bipolar books I've ever read. It was on the New York Best seller list for a long time. More later... beaux

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Posted: Jul 10, 08 4:30pm

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I am Bipolar 1 with psychosis... I was diagnosed at 13, but can remember episodes even before that. I stopped my medication when I was about 17 and it was because I was feeling well and I thought I had grown out of it. Little did I know that there is no such thing.

I lived until I was in my midd 40's without medication or further DX, but plenty of episodes. My life has been an emotional roller coaster ever since. Both with manic and depressive episodes... I think I like the hypomanic times the best, because they are"just right". Trouble is they can not be controls and it  isn't lomg before the "just right" becomes "all wrong" and my life goes spinning out of control.