OG,

I guess when I feel that way I try to listen. I journal a gratitude list. I spend time in nature where I see Him all around. I look for opportunities where He is trying to talk to me. Listening to music always gives me tid bits of what he is sayng. So don't give up. Often it's in the times of solitude when there is little to distract us that is when I hear Him most clearly.

You are not forgotten, nor is HE any farther away, perhaps just being so quiet and subtle that we have to change our approach to how we may next experience HIm.

"Be still and know that I am God" The great I am is just a whisper away.

I will be thinking of you and praying will reveal HImself in a new and sure way OG

Love to you,

LQ

OG, I understand your situation. I've been where you are, am still there even. You're not alone. You're not weird or cursed by God and you're not a second-class Christian because you're experiencing trials and you're frustrated with God. Anyone says different, plant your foot in his ass. Her ass. Whatever. But in Christian love.

When I say you're not alone, I mean it. Every single believer with a healthy faith goes through this dry, painful time. (Scene: Mother, daughter walking on the beach. DAUGHTER: "Mom, does your faith ever feel not so fresh?")

Of course, this you we're talking about. Where is your deliverance from woe? I don't know. I do know at times like these, you will need the love and support of your friends and family as can contribute, plus anyone else who can contribute cleanly.

These times show you exactly how much you believe. I encourage you with everything I have: Always, always, always be honest with yourself, with God--rage at Him if you like (what, you're going to call Him names He's never heard before?) and don't stop giving up.

Huh? Yup. Don't stop giving up. Never surrender surrendering. Hurl yourself at God and require Him to catch you. Need Him more than you need anything else. Need Him nakedly, without pretense or shyness. Give up all hope you have of ever earning His love and approval or behaving in such a way the universe stops messing with you. Give up the idea you can control anything except yourself. Control is an illusion, anyway.

Here are a few steps. First: Be honest. Tell God your feelings--good, bad, ugly. Let it all out. Why? Because "what you bring to the light becomes light." God's a big God, He can handle you raging at Him or expressing disappointment, frustration, etc. (Well, He wouldn't be much of a God if he went off in snit with hurt feelings, would He?)

Second; Give up. I was serious when I was beating that drum above. Remember that hymn "I Surrender All"? It's good advice. Third: Go get the novels "The Clowns of God,", "The Devil's Advocate" by Morris West. They're not those shitty, syrupy "Christian novels." They're deep and honest stories that I believe you'd enjoy and receive some comfort and understanding from. OG, please take all this a day at a time.

Fourth: Focus on today, let tomorrow care for itself.

Fifth: LJQRN gave you good advice. A gratitude list is vital in staying out of bitterness and resentment or getting sucked under the water by fear.

Last, I again encourage you to continue trusting God to be God. If you're expecting Him to show up in a certain manner, stop. He doesn't do that. (Not in my life, anyway.) Let God be the wind. Continue to trust Him even when every single thing around you screams out, "Screw Him! Curse God and die! He's betrayed you and run away!" God is love but He can be damn coy about it. But no matter--truth is, He really is Love and He really does care and He really is nearby, faithful to you, even though you can't see Him.

I'll be praying for you.

Your post meant a lot to me, and I will take your advice. The one sentence I quoted though just resonated with me so deeply! Thank you SO much for your support and response!

Talk about being vulnerable . . . Yes, you're right . . . This is wonderful advice. As always, your whole post spoke perfectly to my situation and the feelings of my soul. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and support!!!

This post could not have come at a better time. Just yesterday on my drive home from work, I turned the radio off and asked Him if he was still there. I told him I understood why He would turn His back on me, but it hurts so badly. I try to do what they say..count your blessings, take it one day at a time, but I cannot shake this feeling that somebody has thrown into the middle of a lake with no life jacket on and I don't know how to swim.

Let's hold on together until we can feel His presence again ~

Hugs!!!

That sounds like a great idea. Thank you!

Hugs back to you.