Posted: May 27, 08 7:05pm
We're wise. We're responsible. We've raised kids - sometimes on our own. We left bad relationships and proven our independence. We are women who grew up watching other women burn their bras and demand their rights on television. Yes, we only make .75 cents for every $1 a man makes, but as unfair as that is, we have so many more options and opportunities than our mothers had.
Yet, we're taunted by deeply embedded beliefs such as:
"You can't do ____"
"Who are you to think you deserve _____"
"You're so _____"
"Watch your mouth - nobody likes a bossy girl"
"Quit depriving yourself. Everyone else in the country is in debt too"
"What makes you think you're good enough to/for _____"
"One more chocolate chip cookie isn't going to make a difference."
"Tomorrow I'll ______"
"You should be married - who's going to take care of you when you're old and decrepid?"
There are tons of variations of these deeply rooted beliefs. When we can't counteract them, we end up sabotaging ourselves from achieving what we think we want to achieve. Upon deeper reflection, we may even discover that we really don't want what we think we're supposed to want. Then what? Do we have to start the process all over again.
Most of the time, it's just a lot easier to passively accept all the aspects of our lives exactly as they are. Even when intellectually, we know there's a better way and that we deserve more than what we have right now. In the grand scheme of eternity, what really matters anyway?
Breaking free from a cocoon requires so much energy - and we're tired from battling with those long held conditioned beliefs that we outgrew during our metamorphosis to the wise, single, independent women we've become.
So, we sabotage ourselves, our dreams, our desires, our opportunities. We eat that extra cookie, and maybe 2-3 more so we don't lose weight. We don't update our resume when we say that we want to find a new job - so we stay stuck in the comfort of our dead end job. We buy new things with our credit cards then justify our purchases because those things were on sale - thereby digging ourselves deeper into the hole. And we don't participate in activities (or enough of a variety of activities) that might attract men who enjoy doing the same things that we enjoy doing.
Why do we still honor those outgrown beliefs?
Nobody really cares about the emotional trama we suffered as children. It was too long ago to really matter now. We're grown ups, not voiceless, helpless, dependent five year olds.
Why do we unconsciously sabotage ourselves and how can we stop it?
We are all we've got to make our dreams come true, so what steps can we take to become our own "fairy godmothers?"
We've spent years dousing our light in order to fit in with our families or peers. How can we uncover and learn to recognize our own brilliance?
How can we actualize the person we have the potential to become?
