I looked at your profile and I see that you're only 39.For health,yes,getting the weight off would be good.I'm 50 and am just dealing with weight.

However,you have to learn to care about you.To love yourself.That's not easy.

Look,we are bombarded with this crap in movies,commercials with woman that are built a certain way.We can't even be left alone at Christmas,we have to have Victoria Secret "angels".

Meanwhile men have the Hardees guy who stumbles out,dumpy,frumpy & can't even open a box of cereal.

Take a look when you are in a grocery store,or in a normal setting.You don't see woman like on tv.We don't have special cameras,lighting,makeup artists following us around.

So,we need to get past that.At my age,I am still working on issues I had with my parents,and they're gone.

Would you be worthy of self love if you were thin?I was thin and still didn't have it.

I have more for myself now than I ever had.From your user name and profile,you seem to be smart and talented.

You sound like you're hurting.If you ever want to message me,feel free.

Please realize you are beautiful inside and out no matter what your weight is. Take time to reflect all the good qualities you have and focus on those. Think about all the people who love you just the way you are.

You are intelligent and beautiful so please believe it!

thank you so much....you have made me feel so good

Rather than feeding the energy to what you don't want - which is self-loathing - try to focus your energy on what you do want - which is self-love. It is simple, just not always so easy. Body image is temporary - as we all know it changes over the years. It's what is on the inside that matters so much more. How are you as a person - are you kind, considerate, compassionate, loving? Just looking at your picture tells me you are, you have a beautiful smile - which is a reflection of what's on the inside.

Make a choice, sometimes moment by moment, to be healthy, and happy just as you are.

If I may be so bold to also suggest that forgiving yourself for all the self-loathing ways you've talked to yourself will also help to heal.

Life is meant for living as healthy and happy as we can every day, no matter what the package may look like.

Take care,

Deb

thank you so much

I believe that some of that self loathing is caused by society. If its the "physical" aspect of being heavy...try a healthier life style. If its the social part of it, you will have to find a place to love yourself before anyone else can.

I will tell you that getting thinner wont make life easier, I see it everyday. I work at a hospital that does bariactric surgery and I see people depressed and making dangerouse life choices because they are realizing that way they deal with life didnt change with their weight. I have been 220lbs to 135lbs. and I have been fortunate enough to feel sexy at both wieghts, but I was uncomfortable, and unhealthy at 220. I am now 175 and okay with my wieght now.