Carefully...very, very carefully.

In all seriousness, after what you have been through, you will have a couple of challenges.

First, having been under a controlling woman, myself, you may have problems letting yourself be yourself. Just like a dog that has been on a lead for most of his life, you may be afraid to be yourself, or be waiting for the hammer to fall.

Secondly, there are a remarkable number of "non-controlling" women out there which will seem quite wonderful, again based on your experience.

Sorry to be a wet blanket, but please be careful. Take the time to get to know the real you. That is what I have been doing. Also, once you get to know and approve of the real you, never again think you need to change to gain a woman's approval. Look for the right woman. She is out there.

You have already settled once for second or third best. Don't do it again. And don't let women play the guilt card on you. A good one won't.

Take your time, brother, and enjoy being free of controlling women. The right one will be by sooner than you think. Be selective, gentlemanly, and true to yourself.

Good Hunting, Sir!

Start doing things that are fun where there are women - singles' dinners, volleyball games, hikes, book discussions, adult classes. It doesn't matter. If you enjoy yourself, express yourself, women will approach you - not ask you out, but simply talk to you, human to human. That's all it takes. Begin to interact with people as your own person, being who you are. It's a very freeing experience.

Great words! Get to know the real you... love yourself, be strong and realize you do not "need" anything from any woman, but get to the point where you can share all who you are (without losing yourself) when you find the right person. Not leaning on each other, but sharing...

Good advice from everyone so far. If your divorce is recent, go with JacksDad's advice...carefully! Give yourself lots of time, nothing will ruin things for you faster than your own baggage (feelings about the divorce/still fresh emotions/etc) if you havent already gotten rid of it. It can take time. If dating feels like too much pressure right now, maybe it is. So instead test yourself in different social scenes, hang out with friends and have fun! Enjoy and get a feel for the single life.

Thanks, Linda. If I could add something here, Cary, you have been part of a "couple" for some time, it appears. You may be at a point where you have mourned the death of your marriage. Even if it was a bad experience, it was something you poured your heart and soul into and a period of mourning is in order.

After that, because you were part of a couple, you may feel the habitual urge to again be part of a couple. Hold off and get comfortable with yourself as an individual. You will discover one day that you really don't need a female companion. When that day happens, then you will be comfortable with yourself, understanding of yourself, and it will be safe to start dating.

I say this because that has been my journey. Every day, I wake up feeling emotionally healthy. Every day, I go to bed, alone, feeling that I healed a little more, despite having woken up "healthy". Have patience, my friend. Enjoy the journey.

Everyone has given wonderful advice. When it comes to approaching women, I would suggest if you see a woman who you'd like to meet, just walk up and have a casual conversation with her. It is really easy to do in the supermarket. I have talked to quite a few men in the store. You can comment on something she is looking at or help her get something off a shelf or just chat with her while you are in line.

But remember, if you go out with a woman and she seems the slightest bit controlling, you don't need to see her again. You've been there, done that. Don't do it again.

Rebound relationships are common right after a split. It is a void that people search to fill. I would advise you to take your time (at least a year or two) to learn who you are separate from a partner. Enjoy being single and meeting new people. One way to know you are ready for that next step... you won't talk about your ex or think about them on a daily basis (negative or positive). You sound like a good guy and I don't think you will have any trouble in the dating world.