Posted: Jun 21, 08 11:14am
Well, I was married 20 years when my husband decided to throw everything we had built together away. I still don't understand everything because he totally shut down his communication, or at least the civil kind. Any time I tried to ask him anything or discuss our problems he would just yell at me, use profanity or threaten me with divorce. After our kids turned 18 he left and we got divorced just before our 21st anniversary. I wonder if I wasted most of my adult life on him now. The betrayal, hurt, disappointment is all overwhelming. It has been nearly a year since he left and I have not been out or really found peace of mind. I do recommend a good therapist or counselor, a lot of self-help books, exercise, patience, and friends. I still spend a lot of time on line reading about mid-life divorces, signs of divorce, cheating, and all the rest. I feel that perhaps I do not know the person he has become and it is not the same person I married. I did not want a divorce at all but there seemed no other alternative. It was that or continue to subject myself and my kids to painful encounters. At some point it is best to recognize that a relationship is so unhealthy we have to leave it behind. It takes time but if we know we tried everything we could, there is some comfort in that and perhaps, eventually, the rest will come in time. the future has to hold something good for us.










