I see it as both nature and nurture, since I don't know how you can separate behavior from nurture. My thinking is that in a group, in this case a family, we tend to find our place by either blending in or standing out. In my own life, I find that my children, although they are interested in some of the same things, tend to have different strengths. Individually we may be weak in a certain area, but as a whole, we are strong. My weakness is balancing the checkbook, my husband is an accountant. We are designed to work as a team.

Rose...you are certainly not alone in your position, I think the best work on your take is “The Family Crucible” by Augustus Y. Napier with Carl Whitaker. I can tell you though, that from birth, my children were each very different from each other.

I come from a family of 7, with 5 children. I am the middle. We are alike in as many ways as we are different. There are many people that historically and currently say that we are a product of our environment. I don't agree with that at all. I believe that our environment influences our choices, but does not make us who we are or may become.

There are a number of factors that influence who we become: genetics, physical environment, culture, religion, finances, birth order, etc. There are facets of ourselves that can be changed, and others that cannot. We are, however, primarily a product of our decisions and choices, even though many choose to blame parentage and environment for our lot in life.

I have six children, one boy and five girls. They are all very different, and much of it I noticed even while they were in the womb. But I also firmly believe that birth order explains much of this difference, too.

I have one daughter that was a 'tomboy'. Did I keep her from dolls, tea parties and dress up to make her that way? (nurture) No. But she does have an older brother that she liked to emulate. What made her decide at the tender age of three that she didn't want to wear dresses anymore. Anywhere. Period.?

My son is the oldest and exhibits many characteristics of the oldest child. (birth order) I sheltered him a little more than my subsequent children.(I wouldn't let him go down the big slide by himself when he was 5 years old.)(nurture) He is not physically inclined, not athletic, but enjoys exercising his mind through art, literature and intellectual discussion. Is that nature, nurture or birth order? It is difficult to say.

All this to say, the nature of humanity is to be different yet stay connected with each other. Who is to say what is the catalyst for this? The fact is, we are diverse. Everything I've been through makes me stronger. I am still growing, changing, learning. Am I able to do this because of my genetics? Yes. Does this change come because of my experiences? Definitely.

As wise lady told me once that it MAY be your parent's fault if you are a certain way, but it is your fault if you stay that way. Learn from it all.

DianeinAL, I agree with the above, 100percent!

Genes are not destiny...but they do determine the way the current flows.....

Genes are a start.

One child might be genetically flour and butter, the other may be water and cornstarch, but it's up to the parent to choose to add sugar or broth.