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It's difficult Baily, I know, but you MUST let him know you're there for him in a non-judgemental way. You CAN let him know how you're hurting...
Please don't let the last thing that your brother knew about you is that you're angry with him!
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, my precious friend.
Again, THANK YOU for sharing your true feelings and you are helping me cope with this sudden and terminal crisis. Your Friendship is valuable to me Lady...Thanks
You're welcome again! My brother has been pronounced to be in full remission now; so now I'm ready to kill him again. (He's such an arrogant pest!)
That's what I wish for you and your brother, but only God knows whats in store.
I pray for comfort for you, and strength for your brother.
I wish I could just give you a hug and drain all the pain away...
How in the f*ck can anyone just give up on life? Anger is absorbed through different channels within our sensory and our perception however, the thought of having an illness and just becoming "tired" of life is nothing more than a copout!!
Why in the F**k would anyone want to waste hard earned money and not fight a diesease that is terminal? It is very difficult for me to understand such bullsh*t!
Damn I'm Mad as Hell!!!
I have had many family members die of cancer, some very young. Watching these loved ones die was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do. My step dad also died of cancer and he was in his 50's. He was a tall, big, farmer, and a hard working GM employee. When he died he weighed 70 pounds if that. He opted for surgery, chemo, radiation and exactly one year from diagnosis, he died. He also suffered beyond words. His surgery consisted of removing a large portion of his stomach. They attached the remaining part to his esophagus. He could not eat without throwing up. He was in tremendous pain continuously. He literally asked my mom to shoot him and put him out of his misery. My mother spent many years feeling guilty because she "talked him into" getting the surgery. If she knew then what she knows now, she would have discussed his options in more detail and support his decision no matter what it was. She now considers that she was thinking selfishly as it was at her prompting that he chose the surgery. I think about that often and consider my own thoughts on what if it were me, kind of thing. Depending on the type of cancer, I may opt out of any kind of treatment and live the remainder of my days as healthy as the cancer will let me be. We must be respectful of our loved one's wishes and decisions no matter how emotionally painful it may be to us. It is never a mistake to really put ourselves in another's shoes. It allows us to to be more supportive to those who need it the most.
...Depending on the type of cancer, I may opt out of any kind of treatment and live the remainder of my days as healthy as the cancer will let me be. We must be respectful of our loved one's wishes and decisions no matter how emotionally painful it may be to us. It is never a mistake to really put ourselves in another's shoes. It allows us to to be more supportive to those who need it the most.
Wow, Delyn, I don't think anybody can explain it better than that.
Delynhod, Friend:
This brings tears to my eyes. I can relate to the reaction you have as I have remained awake many a night thinking about the conversations I have had with my younger brother (47). In two months of chemo, my baby brother has of course lost his hair, lost weight, and is now losing his voice as of July 8. This cancer stuff is horrible when going through treatments. He, my brother, starts Radiation on Friday and I truly dread seeing what that will do to him physically. The kid is bone-thin as it is. I agree, if I contract cancer, I am not so sure I will opt for treatment. Brother has small cell lung cancer and I just pray that he can survive the treatments. Damn! Its just not right! At this rate, my brother will be dead within 30 days unless a miracle occurs.
Sad!
Delynhod, Friend: This brings tears to my eyes. I can relate to the reaction you have as I have remained awake many a night thinking about the conversations I have had with my younger brother (47). In two months of chemo, my baby brother has of course lost his hair, lost weight, and is now losing his voice as of July 8. This cancer stuff is horrible when going through treatments. He, my brother, starts Radiation on Friday and I truly dread seeing what that will do to him physically. The kid is bone-thin as it is. I agree, if I contract cancer, I am not so sure I will opt for treatment. Brother has small cell lung cancer and I just pray that he can survive the treatments. Damn! Its just not right! At this rate, my brother will be dead within 30 days unless a miracle occurs. Sad!
Wow... I just went through this with my own brother for the last two years. I don't wish it on anybody; and my brother nearly died from shame, literally. He was hit with breast cancer and didn't want anybody to know because it's a "female illness".
It really did take a lot of persistant prodding to get him going to treatment, and to get him to stay in it. Still, my brother's outcome was better than any of us could have imagined; and I know I still have to drive him the 100 miles for monitoring (not nearly as frequently as for radiation and chemo) but I'll gladly do that; and even though it can come back, for now the worst is over.
If his cancer ever comes back, I have to reconcile to the fact that I most likely will never be able to get him into treatment again, and I'm prepared to live with that, too.
Your brother needs you. You CAN'T worry yourself sick! HANG IN THERE, BAILEY.
