Alas it's all too common. I and others have made many recommendations on this common TBD topic. Look up Desire Differences as well as Sexless Marriages, Living as roommates.

The very first recommendation any of us would make it to talk about it. Tell her how you feel. Ask her what she feels you ought to do. Some couples then see a sex therapist to work out an arrangement both can live with.

There really is not anything that will work, once the sexual drive is lost, it is gone and the person is not even aware that something is wrong.

I have been where you are for the past 7 years, things have only gotten worse. If you have no children get out, if you have .. things are complicated and there are no good solutions.

Thanks for the comments. This is something I never expected to be dealing with.

Mossy you will find in TBD there are a lot of people going through the same issue as you,and the people I have talked to it seems its more common then you would think.I have been going through this for the past 2 years but I do agree with Isadora you need to talk.

I do try to talk, although the converstaion tends to go in one direction. It is all about her, I should just understand. She is a number of years younger then me, but I feel like she has already "retired".

I mentioned health problems in my first post. Now she has been having heart problems, so no new discussions will be going on until she sees a specialist. In the meantime, I live a lonely life.

Sorry Mossy,

You are definately not alone. Is there something else you and your wife can do together besides sex. I know that some people feel that if you don't have sex in the marriage to get out. But there is other things the two of you can do together.