Don't cheat, talk about why you are in a sexless marriage...get counselling do anything constructive to help yur marriage (if that is where you want to be) but don't cheat. And if none of that works...leave, but don't cheat. It will destroy your marriage.

I agree leave, thats the best bet, I've been there done that and doesn't solve anything

And leaving will not destroy the marriage?? What logic are you using?

All proposals sound good in theory (and certainly work for the counselors' wallet), but I have yet to her anybody for whom it worked.

Once one side decides to go sexless, that is pretty much it. You can keep deluding yourself into being loved and being in love, but you would not be here if the problem was not killing you inside.

Each will have to solve this problem in his or her own way suitable to their particular circumstances. I personally always go for the simplest solution.

I agree with intpj...everyone's situation is different....only you can decide what is right for you....people will judge you no matter what. Life is short, be happy.

I would say to be happy, but being happy is whatever you want at the time. If it's leaving, then it's your remedy to be happy. If it's cheating to get pass the hurt and anger, then it's what you want. I can tell you this, and please don't let me sway you either way, but I am in the same situation, and life is too short to seek pleasure, satisfaction and peace, whatever that is for you. My work leads me to places where life really becomes short, so I indulge. I am not making excuses or condoling any acts, but you have to make your happiness yours and yours alone, not even your wife's, if need be.

I agree with you 1000% Not everyone can leave, for a variety of reasons. Not everyone can cheat, either. I decided years ago that no one else (i.e. my husband) was going to decide my fate in life. However, I AM leaving in a few months, and not one person I know, no matter how virtuous, moral, educated, or family-oriented, has advised me to stay. Even one friend who is a certified family counselor said, "Good for you."

Sometimes self-preservation has to become a priority. It's funny how we don't see that at the time...

I probably didn't express myself as well as I could have... my point was that cheating eats away at ones spirit and once you cross that bridge there is no going back. If you leave I think that you have determined that the marriage is over but at least your action, cheating, didn't contribute to the destruction. Is that more clear?