Posted: Jun 17, 08 7:10pm

My past relationships were like roller coasters. The men I dated were extremely good looking and I was attracted to them sexually. However, the other most important part was missing... They were emotionally unattached. When I met my current husband, I was not looking for a relationship. I was not physically attracted to him. It was easy to not have sex. After months of being friends, I fell in love with him for who he was and each day he became more attractive. Our first sexual encounter was horrible. I was not used to a man who was "verbal". Did not like pornographic terms, did not appreciate being talked to like I was a porn star. I was offended. I dumped him soon after. Of course he was asking me what he did wrong. At first I could not bring myself to tell him. After some time had passed, I did. He informed me that he did not realize how sensitive I was and apologized. We worked on this and did get back together and have been together now for 14 years. Our sex life is not boring to say the least. I am not reserved and do everything imaginable, (except swallow). There is still something lacking...Though I am able to achieve orgasm, it takes a long time to get there. As many women mention, we do like to be touched gently. This has been discussed with him many times. I cannot get "into it" when in my opinion, he is just out for himself. He will literally give me the cold shoulder and not speak to me if I do not give him what he wants. Of course, when asked why he is behaving the way he is, he will bring something out that is totally out of character for him. I know it has to do with sex and the fact that I did not give him a blow job, instead I wanted something. When he feels in the mood to make love to me, maybe I will feel in the mood to give him what he wants. Until then, both of us spend time in our minds letting this issue build up. I am so tired.