I'm sorry, nysunshine19. The first step is to feel good about yourself. What can you do to make yourself a better person in general? What worked for me was a combination of going back to college, while working full-time, and starting a disciplined exercise program. The exercise program alone will give you lots of confidence when you see the toned muscles. Then dress in a way that shows off your hard work. That should turn guys' heads, and your husband should get the point.

I agree with toosexy4U. Your photo, to me, shows a very desireable woman. Work out, dress the part. Find that sexy desireable woman inside yourself. If he's even close to being a red blooded male he'll come around (pun intended!)

Personally, I cannot imagine in my wildest dreams ever NOT finding my partner sexually attractive.

I think I'm confused as to who's sex drive went downhill after your first child. Was it yours or his?

Throughout, my marriage I have loss weight, work out, gone back to work, I go about my life and enjoy it with my friends and my kids.

he kind of did, I guess, I would never turn him away. But he choose not to have it to often after our first child and then less and less after each other till it was nothing

I would urge him to come to marriage counseling and/or sex therapy with you. If he will not, there's not much of a marriage left to save. Your next step is to consult a lawyer so you can find out exactly what financial help you can count on if and when you leave.

Hello nysunshine1965 from your picture, you appear to be an attractive lady that takes care of her self, not overweight and a nice gleam in you eyes. Is he near your age, because you are young yet? Maybe he is afraid of getting you pregnant again. There can be many reasons as you can tell from reading the other posts here. Have you ever considered couples counseling? That may help discover the problem or the actions you want to take.

Sunshine,

Believe me you're attractive, but these years of not feeling attractive are catching up. You're husbands ban on sex is

making you feel this way. Remember happiness comes from within.... be the best "you" you can be, and let him know you're a woman with needs, and they are not optional. Get sexy....real sexy lingerie, soft music, red wine etc...and surprise him one day. If that doesn't shake him up, counseling is definately needed. But, don't doubt your sexiness for a minute..you still got it girl ;) !