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It has been 6 months since I have had sex of anykind with my wife. But for many years she has been an absolute dead lay.No movement almost paralyzed. Never offering me enjoyment and me doing all the work, up to, during and after. Without smacking me around with the romance part of things or other issues in our relationship as a woman goes are there a whole lot of couples going through this.And does it ever change?
Why would it change?
Seriously.
If all things stay the same, then it won't change.
Sort of a tautology.
If your wife won't do anything to change it, then what are you doing to change it?
I've not had an encounter of any sort with hubby since July of last year. His choice, not mine.
Does it ever change? Only if both partners want it to change. Mine is content with things as is, I no longer try. At this point I wonder if I would "spread em" if he did make a move. I'm not so sure.....
Other than the sex part, could not ask for a better man....it's why I stay. I have other "diversions" to keep me occupied.
Apparently, sexless marriages are very common, you wouldn't know until you get into it. Now I know why I tend to understand cheating spouses.
that messege from chowdahead looked like i wrote it myself....its been 10 months for me, and to be honest the last few years i felt that i was alone in bed with a rag doll.....no motivation, no mood, not excited about giving or receiving....what the hell, did the switch blew off? I dont get it, i cant get a straight answer for why?
I used to ask, the answer was always "I don't know". I tried being serious, being funny, seductive, sexy.....nothing worked.
Always "I don't know".......
So, I gave up......he's content, I'm content. I do my thing.....with or without him.
When I was in a sexless marriage for the first 20 years of my marriage. I did my thing without him. But it got old and I was just about to divorce him before things change. We have sex now and some days it's good and some days it nothing to talk about. I am just not so serious about it anymore. It takes to much of my mind thinking. When I wrote the book things did get better but it's almost a daily thing that you have to work on. Some days he want it and I don't, some days I want it and he don't. Go figure
If your wife won't do anything to change it, then what are you doing to change it?
What can we do, yet not have the added burden of being unfaithful added to our baggage?
Talk about it? Latest discussion went along the lines of "I'm sorry, I feel bad for you, believe me, I didn't want this to happen either".
Her idea of an "open relationship" is "You go find somebody new, I'll just struggle along best I can alone. I'm used to being alone..."
I've stopped taking these whomping fistfuls of antidepressants I've been on for almost 3 years because I figured out that pills don't cure Frustration.
