I hear ya! Diabetes took its toll on my husband. And we have 16 yrs between us, and he quit smoking, and he gained 100 lbs!! Lots in common. We've been together 14 years, and never had intercourse. I thought "it will be okay" and that I wouldn't miss intercourse but I did. I ended up seeking out friends with benefits, usually with his knowledge, but not always. It's been 2-1/2 years for me without intercourse ~ I'll stop feeling sorry for myself now, now that I read it's been 15 for you!

Anyway, I understand your fears and frustrations. I keep thinking I'm too young to not enjoy sex ever again.... I just found tbd, and I'm finding the shower massager looks better every day. I may not have intercourse again, but the fantasies and flirting here is somehow helping. I hope you find some consolation here....

This is one of those situation that I think a discreet friend with benefits is appropriate. Some will say it is an affair. I say it is unfair for one to suffer needlessly because of such a condition to a partner. Intercourse is an important part of life. Like breathing, one should not do without it unless it is the only possibility.

I have to tell you that men that go without intercourse because of their spouses feel the same way that you and Sanna do (well, except the part about shower massage.) For me, I don't know which I miss more, the actual intercourse or the intimacy that should lead up to intercourse. In my case, my wife doesn't have a medical issue that caused it but, gaining a lot of weight plus I think a loss of self esteem because she has chosen not to work for the past 25+ years, has had its toll. I'm sure there will be some out there that immediately judge people without walking in their shoes but, the best thing I can say is "save yourself first." You can't help your husband or your marriage if you get so down you don't know what to do. There are a lot of us "married but lonely" out there that for whatever reasons have not chosen to divorce but, as I get a bit older (maybe not wiser!), I keep wondering if I am going to basically be celibate for the rest of my life... Hang in there, you aren't alone (not sure that helps a lot, or even at all!!)

I have to agree. I've become "involuntarily celibate" lately, due to my wife's lack of interest, brought on by her Fibromyalgia & the drugs she takes to somewhat alleviate the pain/lack of sleep. Doing my best to cope with it. You are totally right on about the lack of intimacy. Believe it or not ladies, us men do enjoy love & affection, not just the sex. I have to admit it is getting harder, and not easier, for me to keep from looking outside for these missing elements in my life.

I have diabetes, I quit smoking 5 years ago, and while it doesn't stand up and throb like some engine room set piece from Star Trek, it's still functional.

My GF of 10 years went through a bullying incident and Menopause about 6 years ago and that's been the end of it for her.

Then she threw in my face the other day that since her ex-husband (divorced 20-odd years ago) cheated on her, ALL men are cheats, and yes, that includes me, just because I haven't doesn't mean I'll never.

That made me so angry I've wanted to go out and get bedded by the first woman willing to. Nothing pisses me off more than being wrongly accused. If I've done something and I'm caught, that's one thing, but don't sit there and tell me I'm a cheater just because i own a pair of testicles...

you'll either leave him, have an affair and let him "catch" you and the pool boy in HIS bed, or you'll start cooking all kinds of goodies to help that 100 pounds move you towards widowhood.

I've been really tolerant the last 6 years, even though it's taken a huge toll on my emotional and mental health, but that "cheat" business... I could barely get through lunch today w/o throwing the fruit cup on her.

You're not alone, if that's any consolation...

Thanks, it does help in a way.

I guess I'm sort of readying myself, losing weight, taking better care of myself so I am attractive to others. I didn't care for such a long time, it feels good to care again.

Been 7 yrs. Wife has Diabetes,c.o.p.d., spine problems, knees shot, hips shot, gained 150 lbs , so dopy from meds can not stay awake. I need a friend with benifits.