That would be some of it.Also the false comfort zone that people think they are in?It is scary.Particulary when you have been in a long time relation ship.

Sex isn't everything.

The other aspects might be worth the cost.

For the benefit of the children to have both parents together in the same household as long as possible. Or for religious reasons; deciding whether divorce is acceptable....

for me it is deffinately for my kids--right or wrong--my kids need 2 parents--and we dont fight--we just dont have sex--we are like friends living under the same roof but we have 2 children that depend on us as a unit--a family--thats why I stay--when my kids are old enough to understand--then if things arent better--I will need to make up my mind then--but only then......

Why? Because the lack of sexual intimacy may be the only fly in an ointment of an otherwise fulfilling relationship.

This is one of the things I beat myself about the head and shoulders with almost daily.

What would I rather have, this relationship, chaste and barren as it may be, with my bestest friend in the whole wide world, or a relationship with some nut-case who could fuck my ears off one minute, and be trying to castrate me the next?

And yet I know somebody who's in much the same situation as I, but would love to get under the blankie with me.

What to do? It's the Sushi lover's dilemma:

"I would like to eat Fugu, yet I would like to live, too."

Like Bill, I stay for my son. He has special needs and needs both of his parents 24/7. The older he gets the less I am physically able to help him during meltdowns. I need his Dad to help when he's home. My husband and I are basically roommates who see each other 2 or 3 hours a day. He's slept upstairs in a differnt room for well over a year. We try our best to get along because we both know that we need to be here. Lately things have been even worse and fighting (verbally) has become more frequent.

But...we're parents first. My son will probably never be 100% independent, so I don't know if there will ever come a time when we'd be able to part ways. I guess we'll have to see, but I long for intimacy and passion to return to my life someday.

Wow - that came out much more dire than I had planned. I can usually laugh my way through it :-)

Staying in a sexless marriage could be because of many reasons. Children, illness, low self-esteem and many more things that I could mention. But for me when I was in a sexless marriage for 20 years I did stay because I wanted the husband , house, dog and family gatherings together. I put my kids first because I knew that I could fake being happy and I did a lot of it. Now that the kids are all grown up I am trying to figure out what to do with myself. Everybody talks about sexless marriages. Sometimes I want it and sometimes I don't. I know that it good to have sex in the marriage but is it all that serious. What about just having fun with your spouse and being affectionate towards one another.