When you are a child and the world and its ways have not infiltrated you, God provides you with senses that protect you. As you grow up, the senses get recessed as you get stronger.

What I experienced as a child I have never forgotten. My Grandfather gave off this aura of calmness. It was so intense yet peaceful.

My Grandfather died when I was a child, but I truthfully can say that I have never felt that calmness from anyone else.

My father also had the aura of calmness, but it was on his last day with us. Now that I look back on the day, he was the calmest that I had ever known him to be. I think that he had made peace with everyone, and was ready to move on.

Fortunately my Grandfather was always mellow.

My father was another story. He was raised by wolves.......actually no one raised him and that was a good part of the problem. As a husband and father he was verbally abusive and would sometimes punch you.

When he was 80 with failing health, I moved back to the Bay Area to be close enough to help out. But eventually I needed to move back into my parents home.

Him and I did not like each other. His illnesses and meds changed him and he would cry. Crying was a sign of weakness or sissyness. He would hit me when I was a child if I cried. So this was a cruel twist and many times I would have to walk out of the house.

But when his tongue cancer came back and was going to end his life, he chose hospice. Eventually he could no longer swallow which led to his death. But in the days before he died, something miraculous or spiritual happened. He couldn't talk either. But he was very weak from lack of anything, and he took my hand and brought it to his mouth like he was kissing it.

He did this twice to my mother.

All my life he had been nondemonstative. No one ever touched the other, so this was remarkable.

I want to believe that it was his spirit thanking us and saying goodbye.

Dear Anita:

I love this post about your grandfather.

My maternal grandfather was an abusive alcoholic. He never had much to do with me and my siblings due to the fact that we were "Pete's kids" (that would be my dad) and we were from the south.

My parents took early retirement and moved to the upper midwest so my mother could be close to her family. She had sacrificed her adult life away from them so it was her time to be close.

Eventually, my grandmother died, and my grandfather went into a nursing home. He was causing a lot of problems and was grabbing the female workers inappropriately. It happened so my sister was a nurse at that facility.

One day, when the staff was complaining about Harry, my sister said

"Just hold on. I will take care of this matter right now!"

She went into his room with an enema in hand. She said "Harry, if you don't straighten up right now, I will stick this up your butt and leave it there until you decide to behave. Not only am I the head nurse here, I am also your grandaughter and you will NOT behave in this manner!"

No more problems with him, in that regard, anyway. Like your grandfather, he did mellow somewhat in his last year or so.

He had a beautiful service. I arranged the music. For me, it was just a funeral service for a man who had missed much in life. So sad.

I was so blessed and fortunate to have been raised, for the most part, by my beloved great grandmother, and my maternal and paternal grandmothers. How I loved and adored them!

My great grandmother, Mama Weekly (her name being so ironic because she was one of the strongest women, inwardly, I ever knew) taught me how to sew, crochet, cross stitch, and needle point. She could cook better than anyone, and taught me the secrets to making tea cakes, dumplings, corn bread, fried chicken, and the most mouth watering black eyed peas you have ever had in your life! She could grow some of the biggest and most beautiful tomatoes you have ever seen! She was a true example of a "southern lady" in every sense of the word. She talked to me about the Bible, God, and the golden rule. She showed by example what putting others first truly was, as she did it all the time. She was the most caring and humble woman I have ever known, and was greatly loved by many. In my small town where I grew up, I was so proud to be her great-granddaughter, as everyone knew who "Mama Weekly" was. She was quite the celebrity. When she passed, the whole community mourned.

Thanks for sharing, it is good to hear stories of people like that. I cannot imagine how hard it would be to lose someone like that........but she left you with so much. Thanks again for sharing.