Yep! lost a lot of, what I thought were good friends. When you stop or stop because you have a problem. They tend to look at you as you failed and messed up and that you are going to convert them some how. And that to me is addiction on thier part! I mean isn't that how druggies act.

I've noticed this as well. I don't like watching TV or movies with my wife because I hate to be reminded of alcohol. Even kids movies have alcohol portrayed somewhere, usually as wine with dinner.

If you really think about it. You(people)are constantly brain washed into drinking. Where ever you go, the super market, restaurants, T.V., movies, and even when you buy gas for your car. I once wrote up a bill that I wanted to get made into law but that fizzeled out. I wanted to help abusers and their children that are brain washed along with them. It was called the "TAG ACT" {Tobbacco, alcohol & gambling} I did it after I was recovering and started to look for reasons why I "KEPT" drinking. After you stop, you feel, well, like you are from another plannet. Between the two halves I like to say. Not a user and not a no user. It might seem to a non user a little weird to think like that. I mean most that don't have the problem say "just stop" Well duh! no one starts out saying they want to ruin their life with booze. Maybe it's a "defect" or "flaw" in the brain. It slowly progresses into.... I am not in total agreement that it is a disease. It's defiantly an addiction. Or you can look at it like a "self" inflected disease. Part of that bill said that the goverment, "our goverment" should make up their minds and to stop benefiting from other peoples misery and then condeming them when they fail. It also made reference to the big liability on the goverments part in taxing a drug that causes so much misery. It hurts me when I see a child looking up when their parrent is buying a lottery ticket with cigs,and bottle in hand in a store. They learn from their own parrents at a young age. If they have that, well flaw in their brain then no one is there to stop them from...

Katesam, From my last post you probably already know my reply. I used to make excuses for not having a drink with everyone. I think now though all of my true friends have accepted that I typically will not have a drink with them. I am happy to sit and drink a pop while they drink their beer or wine or whatever else they want. I do however completely avoid situations where my wife will drink. Unfortunately, she would go to those activities on her own and either myself or my daughter would have to pick her up when she was done. (then make arrangements to get her car home)

I have also made, and heard that exact comment, just a little different, "why can't you have fun without a drink in your hand". I have found that I can enjoy myself a whole lot more without the drink. Better yet, the next day I can still enjoy myself.

I totally sympathize with that. Not long ago I had to have my car towed and then re-keyed because of my wife's behavior problem. Paid over $300, all for nothing because her purse and keys were delivered right after I got it all done.

Anyway, I don't drink anymore either. I never considered myself as having a problem with drink, but after going through what I've gone through sometimes I think one is too many. Especially if it gets you started down a road where you "need" to relax with a drink.

I get around drinking socially because I'm always the designated driver. My friends will sometimes offer to let me drink while they stay sober, but if I'm going to consume the calories anyway, I like coke better than beer. It works for everybody that way.

The only problem is, my wife drinks too much, and it's causing problems in our marriage. We don't go out to drink any more because I don't want to encourage her.

Same here. And then I'm told that I'm so boring because I never want to go out.

I have to admit, I've had some interesting times going out with her. They weren't fun, but they sure were interesting. The time she attacked a biker because he was warning me to stay away from her because he couldn't figure out what her problem was.

Yeah, stuff like that.

But you're not encouraging her, anyway. She already wants to drink. She wants to drink right now. Anything that you say or do, anything she sees or hears, has no bearing on that.