(Posted 432 days ago)

Do's and Don'ts:

Don't be critical in the situation. This can bruise the ego and turn him off. As libido wains with age, criticism can further exacerbate the situation.

Say This:

The risk here is that what ever you say could be misconstrued to be critical and therefore bruise the (at times) overly sensitive male ego. The best thing to do is open a dialog outside of the bed. This is non-threatening. Less is at stake in this situation, less chance of being perceived as a direct criticism.

Open easy, perhaps talking about what he might like? Is he satisfied? What he might like? Does he enjoy the sex you have? (Be prepared, you might learn that the way to get what you want is to give some of what he wants.) Does he think that there is anything you can do to make it mutually more enjoyable? These are ways of gently working into the topic where opportunities for conversation will present themselves.

Then, if all is going well, if he does like the sex you have, if he is interested in the topic, segue into... Would you like to hear what I think? Are you willing to consider a few thoughts that I think could improve the already good sex we have?

Be positive, encouraging. This is an area that if handled poorly could have ramifications well beyond the bedroom. Praise the good and offer that you'll be so more ambitious when you feel your needs are being met. Phrase things in an enticing manor.