If you're just divorced, tak - dating after 40

What would you say in this situation?

Just divorced after 25 years of marriage. I've forgotten how to ask someone out.

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Bec

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(Posted 409 days ago)

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If you're just divorced, take a year or more off of intimate relationships. You've been with someone a very large part of your life. Take the time to just be alone, single. Reconnect with yourself, friends, family, new friends...

Finding a replacement is too easy. You need the time to examine the mistakes that both you & your ex made, detox from the addiction of being a couple, & go through the real grieving process instead of filling the void.

Don't worry about what he's doing or who he's/she's with. It takes a stronger more in touch person to deal with the divorce in an emotionally healthy way.

In the future, whether you are in a relationship or not, you will be happier with your life & not fall into the same old patterns that led to the end of the marriage before.

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Member Comments

	luvneverends Im a lucky fish at the niche dating... (Posted Oct 17, 07 5:24am ) Frankly speaking, you need time. Frankly speaking, you need time. Submit Comment
	CisCie Twentieth Century Art, Internet, SEO,... (Posted Oct 20, 07 2:19pm ) Bec, bulleyes!! I agree....25 years is a very long time to be with someone. I too think you need to spend time with self and take advantage of the splendor things of life. Now you have time to enjoy the things in life that you had to sacrifice over the years....relationships are wonderful, but, having the time to rekindle life with self is the best relationship life can offer. Bec, bulleyes!! I agree....25 years is a very long time to be with someone. I too think you need to spend time with self and take advantage of the splendor things of life. Now you have time to enjoy the things in life that you had to sacrifice over the years....relationships are wonderful, but, having the time to rekindle life with self is the best relationship life can offer. Submit Comment
	crossroads Camping,hiking,wilderness survival... (Posted Oct 21, 07 7:50am ) I concur with those above.It actually took a good two years to realize who I was and and what I liked to do.Sometimes you have one partner who is the driven force of the relationship,and the other person never gets to experience what they enjoy. Take some time,and just live life.When we rush things,the out come is never what we think it will be. Date without commitment. Just be yourself and who knows,they might be asking you out for a date. I concur with those above.It actually took a good two years to realize who I was and and what I liked to do.Sometimes you have one partner who is the driven force of the relationship,and the other person never gets to experience what they enjoy. Take some time,and just live life.When we rush things,the out come is never what we think it will be. Date without commitment. Just be yourself and who knows,they might be asking you out for a date. Submit Comment
	ANN52 insurance life/health,public... (Posted Oct 23, 07 7:28pm ) I DONT THINK HAVING SOME TIME FOR YOURSELVE IS A BAD IDEA,JUST DONT GET TO SELF INVOLVED TO THE POINT YOU BECOME A TOTAL LONER,MAYBE SOME OUTINGS WITH FRIENDS IS IS ORDER. GOOD LUCK AND STAY TRUE TO YOUR SELF. I DONT THINK HAVING SOME TIME FOR YOURSELVE IS A BAD IDEA,JUST DONT GET TO SELF INVOLVED TO THE POINT YOU BECOME A TOTAL LONER,MAYBE SOME OUTINGS WITH FRIENDS IS IS ORDER. GOOD LUCK AND STAY TRUE TO YOUR SELF. Submit Comment
	JohnnyWheels Television. Pity almost everything I... (Posted Nov 1, 07 9:48am ) I took 2 years off the last time, and in that time I went a little nuts. Now I have a love-hate thing going on with being alone, I'd LOVE to create a group of friends, but on the other hand, I'd HATE to go through the abandonment again. I eventually wound up with someone, but we're both reclusive and have no friends besides each other. I think what I'm trying to say here is that taking "time off" to figure out what's going on and where you're going is great, but if you find yourself "dropping out" of Life and becoming a recluse, talk to somebody about it. I took 2 years off the last time, and in that time I went a little nuts. Now I have a love-hate thing going on with being alone, I'd LOVE to create a group of friends, but on the other hand, I'd HATE to go through the abandonment again. I eventually wound up with someone, but we're both reclusive and have no friends besides each other. I think what I'm trying to say here is that taking "time off" to figure out what's going on and where you're going is great, but if you find yourself "dropping out" of Life and becoming a recluse, talk to somebody about it. Submit Comment
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