The Food Marketing Institute found only 16 percent of grocery transactions were done at self-checkout lanes in 2010, down from a high of 22 percent three years ago. Customers reported higher satisfaction with the shopping experience when they went through traditional checkout lanes. Several regional chains have taken note and begun phasing out the self-serve lanes, including Northeastern grocer Big Y Foods and Albertsons.

The AP reports that Big Y announced the phase-out after an internal study uncovered problems with the machines: delays due to coupon confusion and payment; intentional and accidental theft; and misidentifying produce and baked goods. Several local-grocery observers have noted our region’s problems with the self-checkout, including “unbelievably sensitive” yet “habitually unresponsive” machines that have brought even employees to tears or “the verge of homicide.”

The self-checkout came on the grocery scene 10 years ago, heralded as a high-tech way to serve customers better and reduce staffing costs. Industry experts say the self-checkout isn’t dead, but they probably no longer define the future of supermarkets. “I don’t think this is as much a referendum on the technology as much as it is a match between the technology and the customer base,” says John Stanton, professor of food marketing at St. Joseph’s University.

The Market Report is awaiting word from several local chains to hear their plans for self-service checkouts and will update with their responses. In the meantime, enjoy buying laxatives in the privacy of the self-checkout lane while you can.

“In the next 12 to 19 months, we will be unveiling new products and entirely new categories,” Schultz said. “I can’t tell you with specificity what it is, but we’re going to build a major multibillion-dollar business in the grocery industry for Starbucks, both domestically and around the world.”

And at an annual shareholders meeting today, Schultz declared that the consumer packaged-goods business “as we know it today will rival the success of our Starbucks retail business.” In 2010, Starbucks’ global consumer packaged-goods business brought in $707.4 million, a fraction of the company’s total $10.7 billion revenues. That’s a lot of catch-up, but Starbucks has been moving toward grocery expansion for months—in March, it split with long-time grocery distribution partner Kraft, which gave Starbucks more control over packaged coffee sales in the supermarket.

For two years, Crownover kept up her no-grocery experiment, limiting her food acquisition to farmers markets, farms, and her own garden. She picked up toilet paper at CVS and learned to eat only seasonal produce. She gave up her beloved prepared foods and buffet at Whole Foods. When the desire for certain fruits in the off-season became too strong, she took up canning.

“It was very odd for the first few months,” Crownover says. “It took a lot to get used to. I went the first week without milk for my coffee and no idea where I was going to get it." She knew that some people found her choices peculiar, but she came to love the new lifestyle.

Crownover set foot in a grocery store a few times during her hiatus, mostly because canning required sugar, and sugar can’t be sourced locally in Texas. Crownover says those two visits to the store gave her a little bit of grocery envy. The fruits and vegetables, gleaming and beautiful, weakened her resolve.

“I could see all the gorgeous produce that wasn’t in season that I would have to wait for,” she says. “I felt like I could almost be lured back.”

Last weekend, she did go back. Not because she’d had a change of heart about her all-local grocery diet, but because she was hosting a birthday cocktail party and needed a ton of fresh-squeezed lemon and grapefruit juice. So Crownover hopped into her car and headed over to Central Market in Austin. And she encountered hell.

“I left really not wanting to go back ever,” she says. The parking lot, which required endless circling to find a spot, horrified her. She had to leave and come back later to actually land a place. “I always park at the same spot at the farmers market,” she says.

Things were no better past the parking lot. The carts, lines, and frenzy were too much for Crownover. “I just got overwhelmed,” she says. “I forgot the routine.” Shoppers didn’t exactly exude the same warmth Crownover had experienced at the farmers market.

“People are sort of hostile when they’ve been waiting for a parking place,” she reasons.

Crownover blundered her way through the store, first forgetting how the produce department operated. “You get whatever you want from the produce department and weigh it on the scale,” she says. A receipt is printed. “I forgot to do that,” she admits.

Things were worse at the deli counter. Since she was already at the store, Crownover figured she’s pick up some smoked salmon. Big mistake. “I forgot you have to take a number,” she says. She waited and waited while customers were served around her.

“I stood there like a dork for 15 minutes without a number,” she says. After an “a-ha” moment, she clued in. “Then I pulled a number and had to wait another 20 minutes to get my smoked salmon,” she says. Crownover was disappointed when the transaction ended with a perfunctory, “Can I get you anything else?” from the man behind the counter. No hugs like at the farmers market.

“It’s just so different from my experience now,” she says. “I’ve gotten to know everyone I buy food from. They’ve all become friends. It’s a completely different experience getting a hug from your farmer and finding out they lost a couple of chickens due to the heat.”

Though the staff was courteous, nothing was the same. Crownover was shocked at the amount of boxed food. “Even if the grocery store sort of prides themselves on selling local, still the majority of the store is aisles filled with boxes,” she says, calling the sheer amount of boxed food “hard to wrap my mind around.”

Crownover got out of this hugless, difficult world of boxed food as soon as she could. She was shocked that going to a grocery store, something that used to bring her pleasure, had become miserable.

“I used to love to go,” she laments. “My normal Saturday would be Central Market and Whole Foods, both. And Costco. I liked it. It was fun. I don’t remember why it was fun.”

With a combination of loans and their own money, the Meleras scooped up the New Freedom, Pa.-based company. “We felt very strongly that it was a part of American history that needed to be saved,” she says by telephone. “It’s the quintessential American business. Just like we treasure things like our great houses, like Monticello and Mount Vernon, we felt it was important to preserve a great American business.”

A lovely notion, and the Meleras very nearly pulled it off. For eight years, the couple worked to modernize Landreth. The company owned no computers when they took over. Accounting was done on index cards; seed labels were typed on a typewriter. She says every piece of Landreth’s ancient equipment broke within the first six weeks.

But the couple was in love with the history of the seed company, the first in America. Landreth was the first to introduce zinnias to the U.S., in 1798. In 1811, the company debuted white-flesh potatoes, replacing the unpopular yellow potatoes that had previously reigned. And in 1826, Landreth introduced Bloomsdale spinach, the modern spinach we eat today. The charming lineage made the risk worth it for the Meleras, even though the company had been greatly diminished over the centuries.

The new owners managed to turn Landreth back to profitability—the company made a profit in 2010 and Melera says it should again in 2011—partly based on the growing national interest in heirloom seeds, which Landreth specializes in, and on a bit of nostalgia. The company went from a customer base of about 350 to nearly 4,000.

Despite the return to profitability, the D. Landreth Seed Company is once again on its last legs. One lender has called in her $250,000 loan to the company, and the Meleras are scrambling to pay it back. Behind that noteholder are more, and at least one other is ready to sue if the debt isn’t repaid, Melera says.

And what is Landreth’s grand plan to raise the money? Sell seed catalogues. One million of them. This month. Landreth sold 50,000 all year last year.

“I don’t know that we would really be able to sell one million catalogues,” Melera admits. In fact, the $5 catalogue price (which includes shipping) wouldn’t in of itself go toward the $250,000 debt. They’re hoping that enough catalogues will be ordered to get a printing discount, and the money saved on printing would cover the debt. “It’s only if we can print this catalogue in huge quantities,” says Melera. “But,” she adds, “we’ve had growing interest in the catalogue because it’s a very unique document.”

The catalogue that now has the future of the D. Landreth Seed Company pinned to it is expected to hold 100 pages of seed listings, historic information, and drawings, plus a history for every single vegetable category and “select history” for more popular flowers. This catalogue will include some original catalogue covers dating back to 1839. “They’re so beautiful,” she promises.

The company has raised $59,335 in online orders as of Monday, with an additional $1,675 from a site set up to collect donations. (Melera says the money is only accessible if she and her husband raise enough.) That puts them quite shy of $250,000, but not impossibly so. Melera is confident that if this looming debt can be paid off, Landreth will thrive.

“We do have some other note holders, but they’re much more patient,” she says. “If we get these initial guys paid off, we’ll be fine. We’re in good financial shape except for this debt.”

“This was an almost impossible thing to turn around,” adds Melera, who is a career venture capitalist. “This, actually, I look at as my greatest professional success."

Strong statement, Hess acknowledges, but not misplaced. “The truth is, I don’t know how a company could be better,” he writes. What makes Wegmans so amazing in Hess’ mind?

1. Wegmans makes nearly $6 billion a year and is one of only a few hundred private companies in the U.S. reach the $1 billion mark.

2. Wegmans is nice to its workers, landing on those “Best Places to Work” lists yearly and offering scholarship assistance to employees.

3. Fancy displays, unique features, and lots of eat-in options have made Wegmans a destination grocery store.

4. Wegmans stays ahead of the curve on grocery trends, adopting bar codes, customer loyalty cards, and “buy local” before the competition.

5. Wegmans plays nice with the community. Philanthropy, involvement, donating rare lobsters, etc. means no one protests the opening of a Wegmans.

Ok, fine points, Michael Hess, and you don’t even mention the sandwiches. Even the Internet, where there’s someone to hate everything, offers little resistance to your argument—two sad little Facebook groups claim to “HATE Wegmans” but have garnered a combined four comments, two by the same guy. But the Market Report will offer you one irrefutable counterpoint to Wegmans’ perfection: lousy recipes.

Menu, Wegmans quarterly magazine, is admittedly rather nice (nice photography, nice paper) but displays a glaring flaw in its lame recipes. No cook could take seriously a recipe for Memphis Barbecue Bone-In Chicken Breasts that instructs one to grill Wegmans Lemon Garlic Split Chicken Breasts and then brush them with Wegmans Memphis-Style BBQ sauce.

Similarly, the recipe for Cedar-Plank Jerk Split Chicken calls for two packages of …Wegmans Jamaican-Style Jerk Split Chicken. Grilled Mojo Pork Tenderloin instructs the cook to grill one pound of Mojo Marinated Pork Tenderloin. There’s elementary, and then there’s insulting. And Menu is no free, promotional rag but a $4 publication with a robust editorial staff.

Is Wegmans the best company in the world? Who knows. Could it be better? Despite Hess’ claim that it could not, Menu’s sad, promotional recipes tell a different story.

The proposed 62,000 square-foot Safeway will have 86 below-grade parking spaces and a look reminiscent of the CityVista Safeway. (Co-owner Duball also worked on that store.) Going into last night’s meeting, the project had the 9-1 support of the ANC 4C. Duball president Marc Dubick tells DCmud that construction should take 18 months and will commence in nine months.

All interesting ideas, but not necessarily accurate and certainly not limited to Whole Foods. Linstrom says Dole advises grocers to display the fruit when it’s Pantone color 12-0752, as the shade sells better—except Whole Foods doesn’t sell Dole bananas. The P Street store, for instance, sources organic and conventional bananas from Costa Rica through its own Whole Trade program. Other points from Linstrom’s research, like the fresh-flowers shtick and sprinkling produce with water, apply to plenty of other local grocers. (I was greeted with fresh orchids last time I walked into the Sexy Safeway.)

Besides, who cares if Whole Foods seduces shoppers with attractive signage? There are no sirens atop the Clarendon store, luring unwilling shoppers inside. People go there with the intent to purchase, so what’s the big deal if the store goes the extra mile to enhance the shopping experience?

Give me the fresh flowers, I say. If it makes me buy more arugula, so be it.

Carman spoke with restauranteur and Eataly owner Mario Batali, who said he was not willing to downsize the grocery/wine bar/restaurant/Italian bonanza that is Eataly. “I think to go and do it right in D.C., it has to be the same size,” Batali told Carman. “I don’t want to do it smaller.” Concerned that Batali has yet to sign a lease for a D.C. outpost, Carman made some calls and got some bad news.

One commercial real estate broker, speaking on the condition of anonymity, told Carman that Eataly is a no go for D.C. “As I understand it, they’re not coming,” a broker said. “I specifically spoke with somebody involved with them… They came down and took a look around and didn’t see anything they like.” A second broker told him, “I don’t know if they’ve seen anything that really gets them excited.”

Perhaps the difficulty in finding a home for Eataly in D.C. isn’t surprising. 30,000 square-foot spaces, all on one floor, aren’t exactly on every corner of the District. Carman promises more details.

No love for D.C., Maryland, or Virginia vegans—the vegan expansion is for now limited to Pennsylvania, Massachusetts, New York and New Jersey.

The Avenue Living site contains all the details necessary to make a $3,300-a-month studio apartment seem like a fair price. “A sense of style infused with an equal sense of environmental awareness” is promised. Residents can expect “two-tone paints in Sail Cloth and Trusty Tan.” They are guaranteed “a life you won’t find in a West End apartment or even a Georgetown apartment.”

Perhaps most significantly, occupants of that $4,100 one-bedroom or $6,600 two-bedroom will have access to Washington social-scene secrets, provided by The Avenue Living blog. “Are you bored with the main stream nightclubs in the DC area?” it asks. “Do you want a ‘secret spot’ of your own?” This apartment building has the answer: the Black Cat. “This is no normal, run-of-the-mill nightclub,” Avenue Living promises. “Bands from all over the world come and play at Black Cat including Little Dragon, an electronic Swedish music band whose song ‘Twice’ was featured in Season 5 of ABC’s Grey’s Anatomy.” You aren’t going to find that kind of exclusive tip at an apartment above the Safeway.

So if you seek organic produce within a 100-foot radius, Sail Cloth and Trusty Tan color schemes, and insider information on little-known venues like the Black Cat, The Residences on the Avenue might be for you. The three-bedroom with den priced at $11,000 is still available.

Well, ladies aged 12 and up, feel guilt no more: you are supposed to be eating at least some white bread. It’s one of the easiest ways to get your daily dosage of folic acid, which health agencies say is a must for all women of child-bearing age. The vitamin is crucial to the development of a baby’s spine during pregnancy—so crucial, that a mother’s deficiency of folic acid before pregnancy can lead to devastating neural tube defects in babies. Resulting conditions like spina bifida and anencephaly (a condition in which the brain is not properly formed or partially missing) are so serious that the FDA mandated folic acid fortification in all enriched grains in 1998.

It happens that 95 percent of all white flour produced in the U.S. is enriched, says Judi Adams, president of both the Grain Foods Foundation and the Wheat Foods Council. That means that almost any white bread available on your grocery shelf will contribute to the 400 micrograms of folic acid women should be getting every day. Adams says it’s not enough to start taking folic acid, or folate, as it is also called, when you’re pregnant—a baby’s spinal cord is formed during the first three weeks of pregnancy, before most women even know they’re expecting. Because half of all pregnancies in the U.S. are unplanned, health agencies recommend a good dosage of folic acid for any female of child-bearing age.

The mandate has reduced neural tube birth defects by one third since going into effect. (Canada, which implemented a similar law, has seen a 50 percent reduction.) Adams points out that it’s not just babies who have been saved by the fortification of white flour—an estimated $4.7 billion in direct medical costs has been saved.

Whole grains remain an important source of nutrition, but they have less than half the folic acid that white flour has. Currently, the FDA does not permit the fortification of whole grains, despite petitioning by the American Bakers Association to reverse course. The FDA allows fortification of whole-grain cereals, for some reason, but not bread. Adams says she suspects the FDA is concerned about overfortification, particularly for populations like children and the elderly, who don’t need folic acid the way women of child-bearing age do.

“Whole grains are wonderful, but they’re not the whole story,” says Adams. She recommends servings of both whole grains and enriched grains, plus leafy green vegetables, beans, and legumes, all of which provide folic acid. So eat that white bread with a clear conscience, woman of child-bearing age, because it’s good for you and any future babies’ spinal cords. Plus it just tastes better with certain sandwiches: “Peanut butter and jelly,” says Adams, “and sometimes turkey.”

In a last-minute effort to halt Walmart's march on the neighborhood, Verna Collins of Walmart opposition group Ward 4 Thrives has submitted a landmark application for the Car Barn. The building has been a source of contention previously, with the D.C Preservation League fighting to save the century-old brick facility. Walmart smoothed things over by promising to include architectural elements and materials from the building into the new store.

Now that the landmark application has been submitted, however, Walmart's raze permit can't even be considered--the former trumps the latter. Now the raze permit can't be approved until the Historic Preservation Board considers Collins' application during their meeting in late October.

All of these programs require you to relink your store loyalty card every year. Here’s where to do it:

Giant
Between Oct. 7 and March 29, 2012, you earn one point for each dollar spent and triple points for any Healthy Idea labeled item. Customers can support up to three schools.

Harris Teeter
Until May 31, designate up to five schools to receive a percentage of your purchases with your VIC card

Safeway (through eScrip)
Up to 4 percent of purchases go to your designated schools (up to three). Safeway asks schools to designate 20 percent of their earnings to nutrition and fitness.

All seven of the region's MOMs stores were outfitted with the more environmentally friendly lightbulbs. Electricity use is expected to drop from 61,000 watts annually to under 17,000 to the tune of $21,000 of savings a year. The move is not expected to affect the stores' electric-car charging stations, so the 20 people in this region who drive electric cars can rest easy.

Pounds of wild-caught Canadian snow crab legs: 1.53

Bottles of Slice of Life adult chewy multivitamins: 1

Pounds of organic jewel yams: 8.7

Cans of Zevia diet soda: 3

Packages of organic chevre fleurie: 3

Pounds of domestic wild-caught haddock fillet: 1.81

Organic fig bars: 5

Pounds of wild-caught shell-on shrimp: 1.05

Emails imploring you to buy the LivingSocial deal so your friend can get hers for free: COUNTLESS

E. coli 0157:H7 is the strain most associated with food-borne illness—the pathogen caused a major outbreak in 1994 that sickened hundreds, killed four children, and was subsequently banned. More recently, scientists have identified six additional, lesser-known forms of E. coli that have been making people sick. Not among these six strains is the highly virulent strain that sickened thousands and killed dozens of people who ate contaminated sprouts this summer. That strain escaped banishment because it has not been detected as a cause of illness in the U.S.

The USDA has been considering an expansion of its E. coli ban for at least four years, according to the Times. Starting in March, beef ranging from hamburger meat to tenderized steaks will be tested for these six strains. Products that test positive cannot be sold raw but must be heated to 160 degrees, which kills the bacteria, and sold as cooked products.

Ellwood Thompson’s focuses on local sourcing for produce, products, and business needs—they even have their business cards printed in town. The grocer defines “local” as “within 100 miles” of the store, a far stricter definition than most of its competitors. The company is so obsessed with local, it once changed its store name from Ellwood Thompson’s Natural Market to Ellwood Thompson’s Local Market. Rockville residents will be able to enjoy a variety of groceries, prepared foods, and a hot bar fancy enough to rival Whole Foods.

But over the weekend, the company issued another recall for another round of products after an August 24th sample tested positive for Salmonella. The recalled items include:

Fresh Ground Turkey Chubs
• 16 oz. (1 lb.) chubs of Fresh HEB Ground Turkey 85/15 with Use or Freeze by Dates of 09/12/2011, 09/13/2011, 09/19/2011 and 09/20/2011
• 16 oz. (1 lb.) chubs of Honeysuckle White 85/15 Fresh Ground Turkey with Use or Freeze by Dates of 09/19/2011, 09/20/2011 and 09/21/2011

Fresh Ground Turkey Trays
• 19.2 oz. (1.2 lb.) trays of Honeysuckle White 85/15 Ground Turkey with Use or Freeze by Dates of 09/10/2011 and 09/12/2011
• 48.0 oz. (3 lb.) trays of Kroger Ground Turkey Fresh 85/15 with Use or Freeze by Dates of 09/17/2011, 09/18/2011 and 09/19/2011
• 48.0 oz. (3 lbs.) trays of Honeysuckle White 85/15 Ground Turkey Family Pack with Use or Freeze by Dates of 09/11/2011, 09/12/2011, 09/13/2011, 09/15/2011, 09/17/2011 and 09/18/2011
• 16 oz. (1 lb.) trays of Honeysuckle White 85/15 Ground Turkey with a Use or Freeze by Date of 09/11/2011

Fresh Ground Turkey Patties
• 16.0 oz. (1 lb.) trays of Honeysuckle White Ground Turkey Patties with a Use or Freeze by Date of 09/18/2011
• 16 oz. (1 lb.) trays of Kroger Ground Seasoned Turkey Patties Fresh 85/15 with a Use or Freeze by Date of 09/17/2011

According to a USDA release, the strain of Salmonella detected is identical to the one responsible for Cargill’s August 3 recall. No illnesses have yet been reported. Cargill requests that customers return the affected products to their point of purchase.

Now, Michael Neibauer of Washington Business Journal reports, it seems the drama stemmed from a simple error. Rockville-based Foulger-Pratt, Walmart’s developer for the Georgia Avenue store, did apply for a permit—but for the wrong address. The demolition began at 5927 Georgia Ave. NW, but the permit was for 5919 Georgia Ave.

A DCRA-issued stop-work order from Wednesday was lifted today. A DCRA spokesperson said the incorrect address should have been caught when the application was submitted.

Police Chief Wayne Payne (!) says Hardy tried to escape by throwing the pork loin at employees but fell while running away. Tragically no video footage appears to be available of the events. Hardy remains in the Harrison County jail with no bond pending a hearing on a probation violation.

Beginning today, Sept. 8, the shuttle will run three days a week and pick up from two locations. Previously, it was announced that the bus would pick up from the Gibson Plaza Apartments at 1301 7th St. NW, but that has been amended. The pick-up locations are:

• 1330 7th St. NW
• 7th Street and Rhode Island Avenue NW (Asbury Dwellings)

Pick-up and return times:

Sunday: 12 noon, return 2pm
Tuesday: 9:30am, return 11:30am
Thursday: 9:30am, return 11:30am

The store will no longer be fronted by a parking lot—parking’s been relegated underground with additional open-air spaces in the back—but will start at the sidewalk, creating a more urban and pedestrian-friendly feel. The supermarket also marks Safeway’s first foray into commissioning local art, which the Market Report wrote about last month.

The 48,000 square-foot store nearly doubles the size of the old and will be LEED certified. Safeway promises lots of fancy features, including a cheese expert to man the specialty cheese department, a bakery “more reminiscent of a patisserie,” and plenty of mahogany wood throughout the store. There will, of course, be an olive bar.

But in its 32-year history, the O Street Giant, as it was often called, wasn’t always regarded with sneers or dotted with mice droppings. When it opened on Oct. 10, 1979, the store was declared a triumph for a neighborhood still recovering from riots and struggling with crime. The Washington Post printed that it “symbolizes the transformation that has occurred in Shaw, once the city’s worst slum.” Then-mayor Marion Barry cut a white satin ribbon and proclaimed, “It’s the good times for Shaw.”

According to reports at the time, the O Street Giant was the first new grocery store to open in the District in 10 years. Post writer LaBarbara Bowman noted its “gourmet foods”—including caviar, pickled mushrooms, and Swedish pancake mix—and “gourmet produce”—pomegranates and papayas. For less discerning shoppers, the store offered “pork and beef neckbone, large galvanized trash cans and large packages of rice and beans.” These diverse offerings, it was predicted, would serve both Shaw’s poor and its newly returning middle-class residents.

Israel Cohen, then Giant’s president and CEO, spoke of the “mutual commitment to cleanliness, orderliness and fairness” required by both Giant and shoppers if the store was to succeed. “I promise you Giant will do its part,” he said.

How clean and orderly the store remained is a matter of debate. The chipped floor tiles and heaps of black bananas look less than first world. (Indeed, Giant regular Elizabeth Hughes says while grocery shopping in an impoverished, violent Mexican town, she “realized that this grocery store was 10 times nicer than our neighborhood Giant.”) Inspections from the D.C. Dept. of Health turned up less than flattering violations over the years, including a rodent problem in 2009. The store still symbolizes a neighborhood in transition—one that’s transitioning so fast, this once-classy store failed to keep up with evolving standards of what a supermarket is supposed to be.

“That Giant was awful,” says Shamik Trivedi, who used to live on O between 9th and 10th. “Long, slow lines. Bad produce.” Andrew Bossi struggles to offer stories about his experiences at the store because “my memories largely revolve around standing in line.” The twin offenses of impossible lines and poor produce earned the store a reputation as one of the worst in the District.

But the O Street Giant still conjures some praise, begrudging and enthusiastic, from shoppers, who will be left without a full-service grocer until the CityMarket at O is complete. (Giant is running a shuttle to another store several days a week.) Bossi appreciated that Adam & Eve cranberry juice was always in stock. Em Hall acknowledges the lines and subpar selection but praises the employees.

“What I like about this store is that the people who work there are part of the neighborhood,” she writes by email. “There’s one supervisor…who I regularly see on the G8 bus. She always keeps a close eye on the cashiers and is quick to respond. She always makes a point to say hi to me, even though we only know each other from the store and the occasional bus ride.” Hall concludes, “As imperfect as it is, this was ‘my’ grocery store, and I’ll miss it.”

Trivedi also has a story about the O Street Giant staff. “I was trying to buy a brand of yogurt I like, and they were out,” he says. “The stock guy felt so bad about it that he told me to take a few other yogurts and drop his name when I got to checkout—that they would be on him. I figured what the hey, and to my surprise it worked.”

“But besides that,” he adds, “good riddance.”

Currently the machines, equipped with those little pads to shock people with, are being installed in supermarkets throughout the Wegmans empire. They will be available for trained employees and, in an emergency, medical professionals who happen to be shopping. Spokesperson Jo Natale cautions that installation and employee training will not be complete until November or December, so don't head to Wegmans if you're having a heart attack just yet.

Why install defibrillators? "It's something we have always wanted to do, for reasons that are obvious," says Natale. "It's the right thing to do."