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Who hasn't occasionally perused their local Missed Connections? This Craigslist feature allows locals to express their longing for coworkers, Safeway cashiers, and that guy in the blue shirt at Lyon Hall. A strict scientific analysis of postings from August and July reveals the most amorous locations in NoVA, which activities inspire MCs, and other surprising truths about the human heart.

1. Arlington is for lovers.

   Out of 320 Missed Connections, Arlington hosted an impressive 19 percent, beating out the romance of Old Town (9.7 percent), the charm of Fairfax (7.5 percent), and the mall in Crystal City (6 percent).

2. Men cannot describe women.

   Note: “the brunet woman about 5’4”” is not a sufficient descriptor.

3. Men cannot describe women’s clothing.

   Men, who made up 85 percent of posters, struggled with the vocab to describe their MCs’ style, referencing “a blue dance outfit,” “some sort of tight pants” with a “design shirt,” and a dress with “a black skinny belt around the waist, for style.”

4. Religion and Craigslist do not mix.

   Not one house of worship, fish fry, or prayer rally was cited for facilitating a Missed Connection.

5. The greatest aphrodisiacs: eating, groceries, and shopping.

   When they aren’t having moments in the cheese section at Costco, Virginians are connecting at Quizno’s, Wal-Mart, and 7-Eleven, among other places.

6. There’s something stronger than caffeine in that overpriced cup of coffee: LOVE.

   The excellent odds of making a love match at Starbucks make the price of that $4 latte seem reasonable. Of the 16 coffee shop MCs, a whopping 81 percent took place at Starbucks.

7. Romantic comedies lie.

   Though they make for useful plot devices, walking your dog or hanging out in bookstores are highly unlikely to produce a meet-cute, with four and two MCs respectively. You’re more likely to connect at the combination KFC Taco Bell (“I can’t tell whether I’m addicted to the fourth meal or you”).

8. The sweet quickly veers into the insulting and/or creepy.

   Declaring a woman “very hot for your age”; complimenting her “sinister smile”; or offering to “meet up with you and worship your feet” might not have the desired effect.

9. Poetry is not dead.

   How could it be, when lines like this are coming from a Subway sandwich shop: “Eyes met, but nothing said.”