For the second time this month, D.C. has been named the nation's best city for job-seekers. In an astonishing oversight, however, both Forbes and Monster.com fail to cite any of the promising listings on Craigslist in its report. The List highlights the flourishing private sector in the metro area with these available, preposterous jobs.
A male aged 18-35 is sought to play a mugger in the short movie Music Man. Must have a tough build.
A couple seeks a person to walk their overweight whippet, a dog breed from the sighthound family, every weekday for half an hour. "Casey is a good girl but very out of shape," the posting reads. No qualifications listed.
A company specializing in "elegant, upscale weddings that are fun, but never cheesy" seeks new DJ talent. Must have DJed at least 30 weddings and be comfortable with music from the 1940s, 1950s, 1960s, 1970s, 1980s, 1990s, and today. "Specialization in any one area will not be something we value," the posting warns, but promises growth opportunity "with absolutely no ceiling."
Head middle school track coach
"Do you treat your stuffed animals or dolls like REAL people?" If so, you might be perfect for an upcoming major network documentary series. "All participants chosen are offered compensation and may receive professional help."
A private employer seeks a lister. Must be able to read and interpret maps. Previous listing experience is preferred.
Part-time small-box packer
Part-time employee sought to pack 250-400 "very small 12-ounce boxes" per day. "Opportunity for advancement" available, possibly to medium-sized boxes.
People who have wired money overseas
People who have wired money to India, China, Nigeria, Romania, Bulgaria, or the Philippines are sought for a survey. $15 compensation.
Ladies are sought for social companionship in the metro area. "Spend time with gentlemen on an hourly basis," the employer states. Training is provided.
Black men and Asian and white women needed for "street performing stunts at various Metro stations." Performers will be paid $150 and are urged not to stress about what they'll be asked to do. "Don't worry," the ad promises. "It'll be fun."